23 July 2006

St Kilda, i am at a cross-roads in my life. I can't decide if i heart you, or if i hate you. In the past i loved you. I loved you, i loved you, i loved you. I came to you every weekend, at every opportunity and we had a wonderfully functional relationship. But then something happened. Things went sour. You stopped communicating, and suddenly you started charging me to get into pubs which were once free. You started to hang out with your new preppy friends, who wore trendy clothes and had their hair cut into an urban mullet. I used to like driving down your dimly lit back streets playing 'Spotto The Hooker' with my friends... cause however, poor, unemployed and ugly i was... there was usually someone worse off than me. You provided me with that. You kept me going. The final nail in your coffin though, was the day you shut Joey's down. And so i began to see other suburbs. And you were dead to me.

But then today... something happened...

I came back to you. The sun was shining, i was in a good mood and you fed me a reasonably priced lunch. Things were looking up for our relationship. I was in good company, your quirky 'second-hand' shops (where you dig the good stuff out of the St Vinnie's bin and then put at 250% mark-up on it) amused me once again. And to top if all off... someone gave me a FREE chocolate and banana crepe. I was sold. St Kilda, you were back.

But then... i was looking in a sort of art gallery thing that happened to sell a bit of jewelery and i saw a ring i wanted. It was $15... i umm'd and aah'd over it, and finally decided it was a go-er. I went up to pay, and the desk monkey said i couldn't pay for it on my card as they didn't accept EFPOS transactions under $20.

What the fuck, everyone knows the limit is $10 (sometimes $12 in a 7/11 or something)... Fucking St Kilda, i thought. And left.

So while the FREE chocolate banana crepe was superb... the no eftpos under $20 has really pissed me off.

And i just don't know how i feel anymore...


DelightfulJen said...

I really want to get to know St Kilda. I spent about 45 minutes there in June last year while I was on holidays with my family.

As a result I couldn't really get to know it very well, and I was wearing very pinchy shoes.

I am due to return to Melbourne in November of this year, and I think I might attempt to venture into St Kilda by myself to we can establish some sort of relationship.

While I was there I did get a free copy of Frankie magazine by some street team type person and had a particularly lovely green frog cake thing from one of the bakeries, so we did get off on the right foot.

Adam said...

Little Mars, times are a changing, Chapel St has grabbed St Kilda, St Kilda grabbed Brunswick St, Brunswick St moved onto Smith St, Lygon St got more posh and I accidentally spent half the day with my fly undone (unrelated).

Mars said...

St Kilda isn't all it's cracked up to be... in my opinion. Though, to get to know it well, and have the 'St Kilda Experience' per say, you need to: Go out to one of the pubs, watch the beautiful people, get shit faced, take some drugs, root a footballer in the jacks, eat a falafel at 3am and then get into a bitch slap for an over-priced taxi home.

And repeat.

You will never have a greater St Kilda experience than that one.

Adam how do you know this? Even Brisbane knows our 'hot spots' and how they came about in chronological order... how can this be? Two shite things about Melbs:
1. the weather
2. the sprawl
Thus, usually with the shit weather, and the time (money) it takes to get to the latest It place... you (me) can't be bothered even leaving the house.


Dave Mack said...

Adam, you are correct in all things you have said.

"One Love" ruined St Kilda, now it's full of tards.

However, the Prince Bandroom is always a great place to see gigs and thus acts as some kind of redeeming feature.

Mars said...

But aren't they charging to get into that bandroom too, Mack? Or is that just One Love?

Northcote Social Club is where it's at now kiddies... But, as afore mentioned... too far away/can't be fucked etc.

And yeah, aren't i correct in everything i've said too? Huh? HUH?!

Dave Mack said...

yeah, they've always charged for the bandroom.

I love it as venue and I've seen some of the best gigs ever there.

P.s. you're like sooo correct that I didn't even need to comfirm it. It is just FACT. Nothing can refute it.

Mars said...

Thank you davemack. It's nice to know i'm appreciated.

If i had money... i'd open some trendy little bar down here. But not too trendy. It's an untapped market i tells ya! (Anyone steals my idea and i'll neck 'em/go to their bar).

Alternatively, i suppose... i could just move closer to the city.

Adam said...

I actually blame the old Vineyard for messing up the joint, but, really, I think it was inevitable.

Mr Dave Mack, (all dressed in black?) I've seen heaps of good stuff in the Prince's bandroom, but in the last year or so, it's all been Northcote and The Corner.

You're right little lady, The Northcote Social Club and the Spanish Club are becoming the New/Old St Kilda. If the Espy ever changes, we should all move to Mexico.

P.S) the Mars, your question about Brisbane's knowledge of Melbourne's hotspots clearly shows that you haven't done your homework.

Dave Mack said...

Yeah i keep hearing great things about the NSC.

But seeing as I tend to enjoy watching rap shows, I don't have much of a chance to get down there.

I really should check it out.

Mars said...

I went out there last year to see someone...(Dot, who was it again? Blane came, didn't he??)..

It was just like any other dingey pub...hot, crowded and smokey. I liked it though.

Ooh.. Love outside Andromeda.. that's who we saw.