25 August 2007

my name is Dot and it's been 24 hours since i last bought something on ebay...

i began ebaying only one month ago. i was moving overseas and it seemed like a good idea to sell, rather than store, my stuff and try and make a little money.

i sold 10 items on ebay - books, shoes, clothes - and made about $100. i decided 'selling' wasn't really worth the time involved.

'buying' on the other hand...

i can't stop trawling through the selling pages! i can't stop bidding! i keep winning items i don't expect to win! items i don't need! items that are being sent to my home address in Australia that i won't be able to pick up for months!

i keep telling myself 'it's okay to bid at THAT price because if you win the item it's a total STEAL... and if you loose it, well, no harm done.'

i can't stop!

my latest purchase... $15!!!!
brown wool Cue dress.
i know this dress came out last winter and i know it cost about $150 at the time.
i tried it on in the store and it's a great fit.
i like the idea of being a brown blip in a sea of grey grey grey swing tops and dresses.
i want it! i have it! it's mine! i want it!

you. can't. stop. me. cause. i. like. consuming.

24 August 2007


Two days, no internet communication.

Have you fallen over and can't get up?



22 August 2007

WELL WELL WELL.... look what i've stumbled across HERE!

it looks like a geek-convention.... and i don't seem to have been invited.


Craigslist Hall of Shame

"So you wanna sell stuff on CL huh??? Well good for you pal. You are well on the way to cleaning out that house and lining those pockets with some spending money! I would even venture to bet that you already have visions of that small fortune you think you're going to make, spent on the next gizmo that will end up on CL 6 months from now at 90% of retail."

This post is dedicated to Marko from Rochester... I feel your pain.

I've been addicted to New York Craigslist the past two weeks. It's a free online Trading Post. I think it started in San Francisco, but has blossomed all over America now. It's like E-Bay only without all those horrible fees, bidding and controls... Yay, America! The land of the free (market)!

I started out looking just
to see what options there are for furnishing an apartment on the cheap when Blane and I move to New York next month... however, my Craigslist experience has since morphed into a zombie car crash psychological thriller can-not-look-away perve into New York City apartment life.

Looking at the furniture listings is to sneak inside the smallest junk filled apartments out there. People have no space, they own way too much stuff... and they have over-inflated ideas of what their crap is worth.

So, in recognition of all these money hungry nuffs I present... The Craigslist Hall of Shame!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here are the images of things being 'sold' that best represent the greedy idiots of the Craigslist world...

Runner Up - Excessive Junk in Image (Asking $100 for table)
So are the golf clubs included? - Ed.

Runner Up - Excessive Junk in Image (Asking $80 for shelves)
The teddy bears? The fairy picture? Girly, you're just inviting pedophiles into your home with this image. -Ed.

Winner - Excessive Junk in Image (Asking $50 for 'wall unit')
Jesus! A deserving winner! I can't even see what's being sold for all the junk in the picture. -Ed.

Runner Up - Asking too Much for Shit Piece of Furniture ($200 for bed base)
Antique? As new condition? Make your mind up! If people have $200 to spend on a single bed base then they're going to be shopping for something new... - Ed.

Runner Up - Asking too Much for Shit Piece of Furniture ($100 for 'danish style veneer cabinet retro')
You didn't even bother to wipe the dust of the top of the cabinet you piece of shit... - Ed.

Winner - Asking too Much for Shit Piece of Furniture ($150 for 'great couch, great condition')
It looks CRAP! I wouldn't even want to touch it to move it to the street corner. - Ed.

Winner - What Is It You're Actually Selling? ($50 for 'bookshelf')
I guess it's like a magic eye puzzle. Oh, yeah, I get it... a bookshelf! - Ed.

Winner - This Piece of Furniture Comes From A Non-Pet-Free Home ($100 for ottoman)
Not everyone thinks your dog is cute. - Ed.

Great job everyone on making the Craigslist Hall of Shame!
But next time remember, if you actually want to sell your SHIT on Craigslist at least make the effort to present it nicely. Take a good photo of the object - clear lighting, clear background... and for-dogs-sake... no puppies in the picture!!!!!

21 August 2007

Mars has a blog-crush.

New addition to the side bar... handsome (not to mention gallant). Easy to read blog template. Writes well and presumably, reads well too.

...what more could a girl ask for?

Now. How do i get him to marry me?

PS... i saw him first, any of you moles try and cut my lunch and i'll stab your eyeballs out with pencils!
can we change the blog title already?

i want:

Dot and Mars: "You can't stop us, cause we like doing it..."
two life partners torn apart by love, now only a blog can keep them together

(if anyone can think of a better title then suggestions are welcome. plus, if we use your idea you get a free breast implant. but just one, i'm not made of money.)

so Mars, if you don't change title soon i'm going to get into the template myself and have a look around Dr. 'Stein style...

this is not a empty threat.
Running the gauntlet…

Blane and I are currently living in a nice fourth-floor apartment in a not-so-nice neighborhood of strip clubs, single occupancy hotels, methadone clinics... and every type of crazy person you could ever think of.

These people aren’t friendly hobos or tramps. They are hard-core mentally disturbed homeless. They are shambling unmedicated wrecks whose lives on the street are punctuated by incarceration.

And it’s a big shock to my little suburban soul.

Homelessness in San Francisco is about as bad as it gets in any developed city. Every night I can look from my window and see a least five people sleeping on the footpath across the street. Sometimes they have real spring-coil mattresses with sheets and pillows and it looks like they’ve been transplanted from a bedroom somewhere. Although, more often I see people lying as they dropped after loosing consciousness, sprawled face down on the footpath.

There’s always a crowd on the street. People just hanging around, swearing, urinating (and once I saw a guy defecating), drinking, vomiting, smoking, smoking crack (butane lighters is the sign… look at me, mum! I’m becoming streetwise!), and yelling a lot. Yelling at each other, or just plain yelling at the world.

Everyday when I walk the short distance from this neighborhood to downtown SF it feels like running a gauntlet. Mostly I’m just dodging people asking for money, but sometimes bored groups of guys like to tease the girl who blushes easily.

“Excuse me, sister?”


“Do you like tall ugly black men?”

So I generally avoid all eye-contact and refuse to acknowledge when people speak to me. But this backfires sometimes when I pass a person and hear them trailing off, “…got a light?” or “…way to Sixth Street?” Because the crazy thing is this area of town is a major thoroughfare with the subway passing right through it. It contains important landmarks such as the city’s town hall, opera house, farmer’s market and main library. So you also see tourists with giant suitcases and people in suits going to work… all doing the head-down march through Crazytown.

I asked Blane this morning what he thought he had learnt about humanity from living in this place.

He replied, ‘Stay off drugs and always take your medication.’

I guess I’m not in Cheltenham anymore.

"The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a common place thing, but burn burn burn, like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars”. Jack Kerouac, On the Road.

Kerouac was a romantic fool!!!!

20 August 2007

D'ya think you can get food poisoning from eating avocado which had probably seen better days?


Think i'm gonna go eat some grass now.


17 August 2007

Sadly, it looks like there's going to be less of this type of mincing...

And more of this type of mincing, for me...

Dot, if you can cram your foot into that shoe... well, you're a better woman than me.


16 August 2007

Back whe i first met Dot, and we were all wishing we looked like this...

And we were hanging around the shops after school, thinking that this look was fairly cool (unaware at the time, of course, that the scrunchie was what really made this who scenario all that...)

Before we'd head off home to the meal our mothers had cooked for us, and slam doors and fight with out fathers. And we'd put on this sulky face...



You smart-arse internet barsts.

We didn't look like any of that...

We looked like THIS!

We were a picture of everything a parent would want in a child. A no smart-mouth, good kid who didn't her homework (on time) and didn't fraternise with boys.


ANYWAY... the point to this story. WHEN I FIRST MET DOT, the one thing that set her apart from the crowd... was the fact that she had a bright RED door.

...no, not like that.

A bright red bedroom door (with a giant picture of Jarvis Cocker on the back)... which i thought was pretty damn cool. You see, i lived in a cream house. (It was lovely.)

So i was walking past Dot's parents place this evening... and well... Dot, i hope this whole married thing works out for you cause... well...

Yeah, they seem to have knocked your bedroom down (red door included) and are making it into a dining room.

And i'm thinking of going and salvaging the door, for the sake of the memories...

PS Your mum saw me though her window taking this photo so she probably thinks i'm weird now.
PPS Found a package stuffed in the mail box... as best i can tell, it seems to be shoes. Can i open package/wear shoes?

14 August 2007

I was just browsing the 'strictly platonic' section of Craigslist/new york...

Why? Because I'd finished reading my other favourite lists: missed connections, free and rants and raves... Anyway, and I came across this posting:

new york craigslist > brooklyn > strictly platonic

British boys, witty banter - ww4mm - 20

Reply to: pers-396138477@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-13, 3:44PM EDT

We're two girls living in Brooklyn that have reached the conclusion that the one things our lives are sorely missing is the presence of precocious, sharp, youthful British boys that like to argue amongst themselves.
So, if you are between the ages of 18 and 25, upstanding but cheeky, look good in a tie, and very very British--we would love to cook you a great dinner.
In exchange, we would like to watch some heated intellectual debate and be permitted to giggle.
Please, no self-satisfied hipsters or Australians.
Okay, and also we would absolutely love it if you had some homoerotic tendancies. Not because we neccessarily want to watch you do the dirty with your debate partner, but just because a little bit of sexual frustration makes the whole world so much more fun.
Hope to hear from you soon!

Excuse me? What? Huh? The more I think on this the more I don't understand...

What kind of cruel horrible pseudo-precocious nasty girls posted this?
What kind of people live in Brooklyn and say no to 'self-satisfied hipsters'?
Why single out only 'self-satisfied hipsters' and Australians as bad?
Yet, arguing youthful British boys as desirable?
Why would they expect Australians to answer the ad?
Considering many American's can’t tell the difference between an Australian and an English accent do they expect some smartarse Australian's will try to sneak into their free dinner?
What's wrong with Australians?
Has 'Outback Steakhouse' ruined our chances in this country?

13 August 2007

Yo, Dot...

I've got bigger problems than the blogroll, eh. Apparently, some mysogynistic moron surfercam has been slagging me off on his blog.

Where's Kiki when you need him?

And also, i'm reluctant to delete Dave Mack and Adam from the blogroll... i know they're both all but blog-dead, but i just *sniff* love them so so much and am hoping they'll be back soonish... What do you think?

Any thoughts from those in question? Probably not, they're blog-dead.

Mars, can we please delete all the blogs in the blogroll that are no longer active? What's the etiquette for this?

Also, we really need a new name for the blog considering we are no longer housemates.

Also, have you seen the film The Break-Up? It's terrible.

12 August 2007

Yeah. Hi.

Been staying down at my mums since Dot left. And am now in two minds about my future... in particular, my future in Cheltenham. Truth be told, the appeal of Cheltenham was always getting to live with someone i thought rather okay...

And now, i just don't know.

I really want to go over seas next year, but i don't know if that's going to happen... but if i don't go, then i really want a new job and to live closer to the city.

And i'm just not sure of a) which path to go down or b) how it's exactly going to happen.

So i'm trying to save, just to keep my options open and then my friend went and got her hair ioncially straightened. I think it cost about 300 bucks... but it looks really good, and now i want it too, so i don't have to look like a mop anymore.


11 August 2007

Postcard from the Tenderloin...

View from my window...

NB: There are five homeless people sitting under the 'LA Gals' sign that I've cropped for the sake of not further objectifying people who live a harsh harsh life in the public eye.

08 August 2007


05 August 2007

Dot's packing up to go to America, once and for all.

And this makes me sad.

Like this :(

02 August 2007

Cue: *groan*

Mars is so sophistocated and professional.

Right. So this is the scenario... I've been off work sick for the last two days and i got a new boss on Monday. New boss = clueless. Me = really smart, though underpaid monkey.

Another really smart, though underpaid monkey, friend and work mate of mine, quit last week and her last day was Friday. Goddit? Fellow Underpaid Monkey was the only one who knew how to do certain functions within the team, right. And now; Clueless Boss Mars has to try to work this out.

Friday afternoon, my Fellow Underpaid Monkey was attempting to show a slightly dishevelled Mars how to do something. I wasn't overly interested... and rather pissed off that my Fellow Underpaid Monkey was not being talked into staying by the Powers That Be. Thus and therefore, i wasn't exactly uh... retaining.. the information she was trying to relay.

Try as i might, it was all too much for an exasperated Mars who in a fit of helplessness, writes 'FUCK!' on top of the report we were working off.

"Uhh... I wouldn't do that" says my Fellow Underpaid Monkey... "Someone might need to refer to that one day..."
"Aw FUCKIT!" slurs says i.

Low and behold... i'm not at work today and get an URGENT! email from Clueless Boss.

"Mars! I need to know where the reports your Fellow Underpaid Monkey used to do are! The Powers The Be want to see them!" Panic at the disco.


Mars, why were you born so stupid?

So i have to make the call to another of my work mates...

"Uh... hey Dude..."
"Mars! Where are the reports?!"
"Yeah... they're in a pink folder on my desk... But there's just one thing..."
"I kinda wrote "FUCK!" on top of one of them"
*amused disbelief*
"I know... so can you like, scribble that out before you hand it over to the Clueless Boss?"
"You're one of a kind, Mars..."