Dot and Mars: You can't stop us, cause we like doing it

Duckie (say duh-ki) noun, adjective
1. character from film 'Pretty in Pink', played by Jon Cryer, (plot: Duckie loves Andie (Molly Ringwald), but Andie only wants to be friends with Duckie. Duckie is funny, outgoing and wears cute hats. Andie goes to the prom with Duckie, only to dump him when her true love, Blane (Andrew McCarthy) shows up. Duckie is obviously heart-broken, but tries not to let Andie see it.)
2. a guy who is totally in love with a girl despite the fact girl makes it perfectly clear she will never never ever be with him; guy still lives in hope...
3. looking or acting like a duck

i have a duckie. i feel guilty even acknowledging this in my anonymous blog, but i feel maybe talking about it will help me reconcile the imbalance of my (lack of ) feelings towards Duckie with his feelings (of utter worship) towards me. which is tricky. because one of the first rules of a Duckie/Andie relationship is never ever acknowledge this imbalance in order to remain 'friends'... and it's also tricky to talk about it without sounding egotistical. but it's not ego, it's the truth.

i've known Duckie about five years now. we met at a crappy part-time job and bonded while bitching about how crappy it was. so we moved on (but not up: i now have another crappy part-time job while Duckie is currently unemployed) but remained friends. Duckie is nice; small, gregarious, gets on well with everyone... and, for lack of having any REAL love life, we sort of became stand-in dates for each other. if there is nothing to be done and no one to do it with there is always Duckie. he's the best talker i know and is always up for anything.
but, somewhere along the line Duckie started making half-ironic half-serious jokes about his love for me. i thought it funny and cute and endearing, and let it slide. but it now has an insidious side that makes me wonder... am i using him? am i being honest with him? is this somehow wrong?

the Duck files:
- Duckie calls me everyday. sometimes twice.
- Duckie will often cancel plans he has with other friends in order to hang out with me (i always find this out after we go out).
- when i ask Duckie if he thinks he will ever find true love he answers, 'But I already have.'
- Duckie does Google searches for me.

Duckie knows i will never be with him, but he likes to live in hope... I know i will never be with Duckie, but i enjoy his friendship. it's working thus far, but i know it'll come crashing down in about five months when i run off to America to marry Blane. will keep you posted.