27 June 2006

A Brief Affair
i promise this will be the only time i EVER talk about sport. i don't play it and i don't watch it... normally. however, i did kinda sorta get swept up in the excitement of the Socceroos recent overachievement. after being invited to watch the Australia VS Brazil match with some friends from work and i decided i kinda sorta liked being a fan (drinking beer, eating wedgies, yelling at the telly) and i learnt a lot about how to talk about sport. like how everyone can be an expert, and analyse the game, and call "FOUL!"
last night i came home from work at midnight and moved the television into my room so i could watch the Australia VS Italy match from the comfort of bed. and after 92 minutes this is what i saw...


Fabio Grosso: i've got the ball!

Lucas Neill: i'm going to lie down here.

Lucas Neill: watch it, dude! i'm like totally lying here!

Fabio Grosso: wheeeeee!

Lucas Neill: did anybody see that?

Fabio Grosso: that was fun! hey, wait a minute, maybe i can....



Fabio Grosso: aw! wah! my head suddenly hurts!

Lucas Neill: huh?

a very disappointing result (Grosso got free shot at goal, scored, BIT HIS THUMB and Italy won), which is what everyone is saying. and they are also saying "next time... blah blah". but you know, the lesson to be learnt here is...
you will always lose as a fan. when you allow yourself to become emotionally attached to something you have no control over, you can never win. the relationship between a fan and a sports team is too one-sided…
which is why i, Dot, hereby resign as a fan. it was short and sweet - but from now on i'll focus on my own destiny (which i have slightly more influence over).

7 comments:

Mars said...

You did WHAT?!!

Television?! Sport?!

Something's happening! Something's happening...?

PANIC!

Mitch said...

But...

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.


???

ilse said...

Totti kicked the penalty, not Grosso.

The thumb biting, now, I thought (at first) that that was a thumb SUCK (as in, waa waa you babies) but naaaaow you mention it, it might have been a bite, and therefore, even MORE insulting!

Those motherfuckers!

Dot said...

okay, Totti not Grosso.

i saw the bite and instantly thought of Romeo & Juliet - do you bite your thumb at me sir?!?!? - but maybe it was a suck.

i would love to continue this suck/bite debate some more... anyone?

ilse said...

No, dot, I think you're right-- it does look like a bite in the replay.

Maybe he was trying a combo bite n suck...

(...and I'm not even going to take that comment any further because I am trying to wean myself off the need for constant sexual innuendo that plagues my life.)

audrey said...

Words cannot describe the immense badness of that moment - and I don't mean bad in a Corey Feldman dresses up like Michael Jackson and dances for Laine in the high school gym kind of bad.

Miss Natalie said...

Lucas Neill: i'm going to lie down here.

I'll lie down with him ;-)