25 March 2007

My blogging nemesis: Original Mel.

She's just like me, only better in every way. If i didn't like her style so much, i'd frigging hate her.

Where is this coming from, you may ask... Almost certainly that is a question OMel would be contemplating... And the answer may or may not be coming; i haven't decided yet.


I don't know how the hell i found her blog, but i have been around from the very beginning when the blog was still orange (which i liked better)... oh yes, i've been around. Anyway, i was kinda miffed when she didn't address me directly when responding to that first comment and rather, just called me "a comment!! A COMMENT"... I may have been somewhat over-sensitive.

So i boycotted her blog for a while in protest. Did anyone notice?

Yeah, but then i went back... at first it was totally on the sly, not commenting or admitting my presence... and then i started to like her again - i just couldn't help myself. So this went on for ages, right... and i was still quite convinced that she'd never given a shite about checking out things around D&M and i couldn't understand why. I mean, we are goddam freakin' awesome, right?

So things in our (ahem) relationship progressed and i started to occasionally comment on there. Which is when i realised why i'd been resisting her blog for so long.

I'm jealous. Dead jealous.

Firstly, she can compose a blog post much better than me
And more frequently than me
She is clearly smarter than me with a better paying job
She uses words i don't know the meaning of!
She could drink me under the table
And then come up with a heaps better story to tell her friends
She owns (well, has) her flat and i has nothing
Now she's heading off over-seas with an actual job lined up
An interesting job, no less
She rides a fucking motorbike
And has a crapper-load of friends

And that's why she's my nemesis. All those reasons, and probably more.

Anyway, i'm almost ready to accept this fact as last week came an all time high in my blogging career (ahem) when OMel said, and i quote... "I heart Mars"

And i nearly fell off my fucking chair.

THE FUCK? She knows i exist?

So anyway OMel, keep up the good blogging work and i'll try not to be too bitter and twisted about how much better you are than me.

This is just a tribute.


Original Mel said...

I'm a little overwhelmed.

First of all, I'd like to thank the Academy for believing in me. I'd like to thank my mum and dad, my friends, weird people who insist on talking to me, in fact all the people who give me blog fodder in my increasingly neurotic daily life.

And my readers. I'd still do it without you, but I wouldn't get as many comments.

And, last but not least, Mars. I'm sorry I hurt you by calling you "a comment". Was it in my "The Story So Far" post? Cause I tried to link to your blog and say another blogger, but my computer fucked it up. I'm sorry. But I do heart you. And a girl can always use a nemesis / tribute.

Mars said...

haha no.. you called me "a comment" in the first comment i ever left, on your first ever post.

you see?

i'll get you one day gadget, one day...

Mex said...

its like a fucking scooby doo love-in in here.

can you two just pash already?

kiki said...

can i watch?

Original Mel said...

Nah, we're not done with the pillow fighting yet.

Mars said...

PEOPLE! this is not a lesbian love romp - she's my NEMESIS.


none of you know anything about having a nemesis.

Chris said...

I would like a nemesis.

How do I go about getting one?

Should I advertise in the paper?

BEVIS said...

Maybe she was talking about the chocolate bar?

actonb said...

Does this mean that OMel is actually going to bring about your downfall?????

How exactly?

kiki said...

she doesn't need to do anything, mars is her own worst enemy

Mars said...

well THAT'S not very nice kiki. and also.. pot/kettle etc.

AB, the plan is this: i will try to plot the downfall of OMel and i'll be foiled at every turn.

isn't that the way it's supposed to go when you have a nemesis?

bevis.. what chocolate, where?

CHRIS! wow.. you commented :) a nemesis is not something that can be planned... it just comes to you when you least expect it. like a husband, i'm told.

DelightfulJen said...

Awww, hooray for mutual blogger admiration!

I think it's fair to say everyone on my blog roll is my blogging nemesis :)

P.S If nemesises (nemesi?) come to you when you least expect them, like husbands, what if one's husband is also one's nemesis, one and the same and all that. *mind boggles*

Mars said...

^ there's a word for that... conundrum.
although young jen, i will say this much... not everything in life revolves around a potential husband. i'm not sure you're quite grasping my tongue-in-cheek ways sometimes!

actonb said...

Indeed, that is how the synergy of nemesis/nemesee goes...
Although Agatha Christie managed to solve it by dropping a great big rock on someone's head. That kinda stopped the synergy in it's tracks...

Original Mel said...

Important question - as your nemesis should I wear a cape? I've always wanted to wear a cape. Maybe a nice maroon silk number. Or turquoise.

Mex said...

Im sure OMel gets your tongue-in-cheek.

hee hee


actonb said...

Glvoes too Mel.
You must remember the all important Gloves...

Mars said...

NO! oh my god, you don't know ANYTHING.

no cape. no gloves. no super-hero costumes, if that's what you're imagining. no dropping rocks on heads and NO lesbian pash or ramming.


and leave the nemisis-ing to me.


i should never have trusted any of you with this information.

kiki said...


for every word ending in "s" in singular form, you simply add "'" to make it plural.

too many quotation marks?

meva said...

Not enough, kiki.

I have just decided to read Original Mel's blog, which I admit (hangs head in shame) that I haven't until now.

But what if I heart her more than I heart you, Mars? I'll let you know if I do. But I can't imagine it.

(word verification: setel)

Mars said...

^ you will.. it's unavoidable. i tells ya, she's just like me ONLY BETTER.

kiki said...

yeah, you'll def like hers more than this.

meva said...

Oh, I dunno...

I kinda like the original Mars.

It's like Cheezels and Tasty Toobs. One (yes! I am a member of the royal fambly) always prefers the one that one has enjoyed first.

(But I'll def keep reading Original Mel. She's GREAT! WOW!! How GOOD is she?!?)

Mars said...

see? told ya... it's only a matter of time before THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE realises that i'm just a cheap immitation.

Deb said...

Great!! Now there's ANOTHER awesome blog I have to add to my blog roll and spend hours pouring over.. Sheesh!

Life is tough, eh? lol

Chris said...

Well since we were talking about silent visitors I thought I would say hi...

You have to give credit to the blog that introduced this English person to the verb "to pash".

Oh and the phrasal verb "to pash the boss".

Kiki, much as it is against my religion to comment at a comment, there is not a single word in the English language that is pluralised by adding an apostrophe. The plural of nemesis is nemeses. Pronounced to rhyme with "peas".

Although it is rare to have more than one...

Mars said...

loving chris right now.

but the question remains... do you know what it means to 'ram'?

pash or ram, PASH OR RAM?!

Mex said...

is that a proposition mars???

Mars said...

uhhh.. depends who's asking...

Chai said...

Polonium-120, if you ever change your mind.

pretty gutsy admitting to such shallowness. I try not to let on.

Chris said...

Pash or ram?!

Um, no. Can't say I do.

I tried google; I can now install RAM into a Macintosh (I don't have a Macintosh). I also had to read a lot about something called proxying.

It didn't help.

Next I tried looking on the "Pash or Ram?" link on your sidebar... instinct told me it might help.

It didn't, although I did discover that someone called Mex thinks that calamari tastes of arseholes.


Mex said...

did i say that??