07 March 2007

Melbourne has turned into such a wank.

I'm fucking sick of not being able to find places. Bars, restaurants, WHATEVER. At first, i thought it was pretty cool, these trendy little back street lanes where only those in the know could hang out, but tonight, it finally got the better of me and really pissed me off once and for all.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A STREET NAME AND A NUMBER ON A BUILDING?

Freakin'.

I was out with a couple of friends on the weekend and we were going to go to this club we'd been to a couple of weeks earlier. We were taken by another friend the first time, so only vaguely recalled where it was. SO WE THOUGHT. Which led us to become part of the general population on the streets of the city that night, asking anyone who walked past where this club was.

NO-ONE KNEW WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT.

So asking, wandering perplexed, asking some more... Then finally we struck it lucky and someone in the know said it had been shut down about three weeks ago.

KEEP UP - THINGS CHANGE.

Doesn't matter, thinks us... my friend had been to this better club the weekend before, and we should definitely go there now. All the way up the other end of the city - but proceed. So we're wandering about looking for this PLACE THAT DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST and, of course, no-one on the street we were asking had ever heard of it.

No-one! Not the punters, bouncers, taxi drivers, ANYONE.

Looking, looking, looking for this club that i was convinced didn't exsit when my tiny friend cracks, exasperated and says IT DOES FUCKING EXSIST, I WAS THERE LAST WEEKEND AND I'M GONNA FIND IT!

Determined.

Anyway, finally manage to get a taxi and we hop in and ask him if he knows where this place is. He thinks he does. Well fuck. You think you do? We take the chance and lo-and-behold, he takes us there and we're in.

TEN HOURS LATER.

End of story.

Related: I was looking for this damn bar tonight - and i'm CRAP with directions at the best of times - and i'm wandering aimlessly up the street... up and down... up and down... make a call... up and down...

Finally found it and it was pretty nice, but i'm jack of not being able to find places.

End of story.

ALSO, what the fuck is the go with this...



The little sing-song on the Melbourne Central clock started at FOUR MINUTES PAST SIX.

What the friggin hell is the point of that? This city is going to the dogs.

I'm outta.

15 comments:

Mex said...

maybe the sing song thing is there to tell everyone that they just missed their 6pm train home?

Mars said...

nah, the 6pm train doesn't leave till 6.12, so you've still got time..

Amanda said...

I guess from a 'foreigner's' point of view (Perth is pretty far away), all the little lanes and stuff make Melbourne just so awesome. But maybe I would hate not being able to find anything too. I think maybe the clock has been inhabited by ghosts.

actonb said...

I thought the Melb club scene had always been a complete wank. All the little hidey laneways and stuff. Makes the locals feel superior... Maybe you're not local enough Mars - This is a Local Club for Local People.

Mars said...

not local enough?

oh. not local enough.

Pomgirl said...

I think I've accepted that if I like somewhere/have a good night there, then I will never be able to find it again.

Ten hours though! That would have crushed my Spirit of Funness.*



Except, I don't really have one.

Chesty LaRue said...

ok, this is off topic, but what is with you and this person?

http://www2.blogger.com/profile/00599519738954504042

I can't hyperlink because I am crap, but I am clever enough to know something is going on here ...

Busted, Mars. Busted.

Mars said...

it wasn't a secret chesty.. but yes, you are a super-sleuth!

killerrabbit said...

I remember one night on my birthday wandering around for 1hr trying to find The Croft institute as that lane way is very obscure.

I have a fairly good knowledge of the laneway bars now but all the new ones popping up all the time confuses me. It like the bars are so uberhip that they don't want anyone to find them at all as patrons will ruin their decor.

W said...

Hmm. Interesting phenomenon.

I will have to come and experience this for myself.

kiki said...

do it W, but think about this, not everyone doesn't know their way around the city, else there'd be noone in the clubs / bars and they'd all go out of business

Mars said...

THIS IS MY POINT, PEOPLE... the streets were FILLED with people asking directions. we weren't the only ones. NO-ONE KNOWS WHERE PLACES ARE ANYMORE.

(no, not even you who seems to know EVERYTHING, kiki)

kiki said...

i know where they are

Chesty LaRue said...

What's not a secret?

I know i say this all the time, but I'm confused.

Who is this person and why do you two keep having the same profile pic?

SPELL IT OUT FOR THE DUMBARSES!!!

Like me.

david santos said...

very good, thank you
have nice wkend