20 November 2006

This weekend, i was paid, quite possibly, the worst insult anyone has ever given to me. Call me fat, stupid, ugly, i've heard it all before... but this? This is an insult in the highest order.

On Friday night whist sipping my $1 champagnes in South Yarra, my friend happened to mention that she was thinking of going up to her holiday house in Philip Island over the weekend. This sounded like a pretty good idea to me, the weather was set to be nice, so i was in. There was a group of four of us (and a fucking dog, which will have to be a story for another time) who went down to the Island, just for Saturday night.

We got there pretty late in the afternoon, so delared it Wine Time stright away and we set to getting ready to go out. Had dinner at this pub somewhere... San Remo perhaps and then decided to go into Cowes to see what else was happening. So the four of us were standing at this ATM, waiting to get money out so we could go get some more drinks, when this P plater Commodore comes screaming up the main street of Cowes, packed with boys.

The thumping street machine flies past us and one of the boys is hanging out the window and yelling in our direction...



The four of us were standing there perplexed for a moment, as we all watched this car zoom past us, and what they had said started to sink in a bit. We all then, temporarily, turned into our mothers and tried to figure out what a toolie was, exactly.

That established, we proceeded to use our fine powers of duduction and figured... well, if we're toolies... that must mean that there's some schoolies somewhere near by. Bloody brilliant!

We, again, turn into our mothers and wonder if school has finished already... "no? i can't have!" and how these things just seem to come about so fast these days etc..

A few minutes later it really started to sink in though. HANG ON A MINUTE! I'm not a toolie! And if i am, does that mean i'm...sniff...old?


So there you go. Me. A toolie.

Done by Mars


kiki said...



Dave Mack said...


I am shocked and appauled!

DelightfulJen said...

I spend the weekend on the Sunshine Coast of Queensland. We knew it was Schoolies and hoped we wouldn't be seen as Toolies.

Thankfully there was hardly any Schoolies staying close to us, though it did not stop my friends teasing me for being a Toolie.

Just admit it Mars, you were out to pick up a drunk 17 year old :P

Dot said...

i didn't know Philip Island had so many attractions, thanks for the link.

kiki said...

hey Dot

when you get back, we can have a little getaway there.
whaddya say?

Adam said...

You've changed Mars, you used to be cool.


Mars said...

hmm.. i pretty much wasn't ever cool..

Adam said...

Hey Mars, what's happening with the thing?

Mars said...

yeah, i'm working on the thing. need time to get my shit together or something. ..been preoccupied with looking for a new set of wheels, man.

Adam said...


Mars said...

^^^ are you calling me an electric car?