Dot and Mars: You can't stop us, cause we like doing it

In a pickle (sigh, I remember the ones you get with fries in America...)

Have spoken to two lawyers re: moving to America to LIVE WITH MY HUSBAND. At $100 an hour each, they have given us completely conflicting information.

Lawyer Scum says:

• the whole system is screwed!
• don't even bother trying to come to America on a tourist visa and switching because 'they' don't like that and you could potentially get yourself BARRED from the States
• you'll just have to wait in Australia for UP TO A COUPLE OF YEARS for your residency to be approved
• really there's nothing i can say or do to help you...

Lawyer Sleeze says:

• the whole system is screwed!
• just come to America on a tourist visa and we'll swap it over for you to a 'bridging visa' and then you can apply for a work permit
• just make sure customs don't think your INTENT is to stay longer, you MUST not let them know you are married and you MUST make them think you are arriving for a holiday only... i.e. LIE TO CUSTOMS
• it'll take about 4-5months to get the work permit... of course by this time your tourist visa will have expired... but who cares! America is run on illegal immigration! they love it!
  

So the system is screwed, everyone agrees on that.

But why have the lawyers given us such different information? Because Lawyer Scum didn't want our little case? Because Lawyer Sleeze wants us to end up in a big mess so we can pay him to fix it?

And it's pretty scary to think I could end up in America stuck in limbo on an expired visa therefore unable to leave until my new 'wife of an American citizen' status is confirmed. And I wouldn't be able to work.

However! I believe it is my right as a CITIZEN OF THE GALAXY to live with the person I made this stupid commitment to. What's the point in waiting at home? Surely I can manage to have a satisfying life as an illegal alien in New York city?

I feel better now. But I think we need a third opinion...

Yes, Mr Hutz?

"Wrong!!! You are not fine! You are in terrible pain!"