Some times, it's really hard being me.
It's been freezing in Melbourne, right. Like, seriously freezing. And i sit in my office all day, with a heater cranking under my desk, and still manage to freeze. So today when i woke up, and it was about 3 degrees, i decided to once and for all (well, for at least today) take affimative action and combat this problem.
Solution: Wear ALL the warmest clothes i own, at once.
This included some wool blend trousers, a long singlet, knitted top and thick cardigan. Shoes, socks, a scarf, hat, gloves and my wool coat.
It wasn't until i got to work though, that i realised i looked like a complete retard.
I sat down and changed my shoes, just before getting up to go and speak to some people. I look down and something's not quite right. I kid you not, my trousers were about 2 inches shorter than they should have been. Serious ankle freezers. So i tugged them down at the crutch, hoping to get a bit of length happening, to no avail. So i resigned myself to sitting down all day.
Time passed and i get up to go to the bathroom where i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I guess it hadn't occrurred to me that ALL my warmest clothes seemed to be the colour brown. And i looked like a giant turd.
So there you have it; Mars is a giant poo who wears ankle freezers like a FUCKING SPASTIC.
I'm so embarrassed to be me.
What's on the menu for tomorrow? Lycra, i suppose.
5 years ago