18 July 2007

Some times, it's really hard being me.

It's been freezing in Melbourne, right. Like, seriously freezing. And i sit in my office all day, with a heater cranking under my desk, and still manage to freeze. So today when i woke up, and it was about 3 degrees, i decided to once and for all (well, for at least today) take affimative action and combat this problem.

Solution: Wear ALL the warmest clothes i own, at once.

This included some wool blend trousers, a long singlet, knitted top and thick cardigan. Shoes, socks, a scarf, hat, gloves and my wool coat.

It wasn't until i got to work though, that i realised i looked like a complete retard.

COMPLETE RETARD.

I sat down and changed my shoes, just before getting up to go and speak to some people. I look down and something's not quite right. I kid you not, my trousers were about 2 inches shorter than they should have been. Serious ankle freezers. So i tugged them down at the crutch, hoping to get a bit of length happening, to no avail. So i resigned myself to sitting down all day.

Time passed and i get up to go to the bathroom where i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I guess it hadn't occrurred to me that ALL my warmest clothes seemed to be the colour brown. And i looked like a giant turd.

So there you have it; Mars is a giant poo who wears ankle freezers like a FUCKING SPASTIC.

I'm so embarrassed to be me.

What's on the menu for tomorrow? Lycra, i suppose.

4 comments:

Mex said...

oh well - i wore my fat lady jeans and a ball-y cardigan yesterday and looked like the biggest daggiest saddest 28yr old on the face of the planet.

kiki said...

hey Dot, you know what else that turd looks like??

Dot said...

Kiki, it's not my poo. ask Mars.

Mars said...

^ totally is