11 July 2007


I just got an email from Blane. It's long and kind of boring [after I've taken all the lovey-dovey bits out], but it needs to be put ‘out there’ on record how inept and idiotic American immigration bureaucracy is, because if enough people complain then maybe, one day, revolution...

I highlighted the bits worth reading.

Dear Dot,

Well I'm very tired and not looking forward to trying to describe this so not sure how to start except will just get into it. Our couple weeks of waiting plan is off, because it won't work, for a fact. There is zero chance of you getting anything even in the next 2 months. Bottom line is you need to come on a tourist visa and then transfer to the permanent one 485 (green card). That is what will happen, otherwise you won't be here anytime soon andlikely won't be here till next june/julyor is a good (and serious) guess. Quite possibly even later like xmas '08…

I called the people today again, initially because I wanted to see if the i-129f form passed, but also because I was worried since we changed the address from nyc (where sent the i-130) to my parents in CO, that means the nebraska center not vermont deal with things, and I wanted to make sure that didn't mess anything up. For any cretin that wouldn't be a problem, but with them that's a nightmare. I talked to a guy for half an hour or so. Turns out even though on the 1-129f form it says if you are living in CO says to file at the Nebraska location, the guy checked online and tuns out Nebraska isn't even dealing with -129f forms or i130 forms at all anymore, or for a period, or decided to take a break, or move it California, or something. In the last week they decided not to or something and to move all that to the California center. So who the hell knows where our stuff will go or if it will meet up, or if the Vermont people will send stuff to California, or do it themselves, or just who knows.

In asking the guy to check on the 129f, it wasn't coming up in the database and asked how long I had sent it in- I told him 3 weeks or whatever and he just about laughed. He said what the woman told me last time was a straight up lie and he has no idea how she came up with that. From the time they actually receive it in the mail, it doesn't even REGISTER as being received in their system or that they even HAVE it for at LEAST 30 days from then. THEN, from there the guy explained it takes anywhere from 2 -6 months to "process". THEN in their own sweet time they send me a receipt, and if we're lucky enough to not have anymore requests for more info etc, they in their own sweet time send YOU notice. THEN, you make an appointment in Australia to meet at the consulate. Making the appointment takes anywhere from 2-6 months further. And no, you cannot make the appointment before you get the notice. Then after your appointment, they process the info and then send you something allowing you to come- who knows how long that part takes. But it is very unlikely they issue anything on the spot after the meeting. Keep in mind this is for the "quicker" K3 visa, whose only function is to serve as an interim temp visa while you are waiting for your real i-130. The guy said there was no real difference in time between the 129f and 130. Then having our stupid little piece of paper, issue by dumbf**ks who are pathetic enough to work there, and deserve nothing more except to either be locked up for criminal negligence, we can buy your ticket, you can get a departure date in mind, pack you stuff up, etc., and come to NYC.

Except I won't be there. I could be anywhere. I will have lived my entire life. and will probably be retired talking about my true love from Australia who… well what happened exactly? Oh well, you know, we were in love, and then it was complicated, and she was there and then we kept filing forms, and then we filed and filed, and then we filed some more. Then we waited, and waited, and waited a little more. And after that, we got more things in the mail that told us to file. Then for good measure we waited. Then Blane went ballistic and strangled a poor stupid moron in the office and got sent to jail for 50 years. Then Blane got out and the only good part was he knew the waiting would be over, Dot could move over. If she wasn't dead yet. which was only somewhat likely. Thankfully she was alive and well. Hooray! But then Blane found out there was a supplemental form that someone at the office hadn't forwarded to the correct office and so the whole application had been put on hold and wasn;t any closer to being done than when he choked the horrible terrible and overall grotesquely fat, stupid, reality-addicted 40 year old dept. of homeland security visa employee mother of three stupid, screaming little bastard children, each of whom was in the bottom of their class and were disliked by their teachers since all they did was punch and trip the other kids at recess while they ate cheetos. This lady would've been only pathetic except she was actually mean because she thought she was doing everyone a favor and diligently protecting the USA from "terrorists", and would lecture people on the dangers of lax security, loose borders, and the nasty people from all the places she couldn't find on the map. Naturally, she had never stepped foot outside the US. You see, she was a very stupid person, and never could understand that she had an infinitely better chance of having a shitty life and being killed by her deadbeat husband (either beaten to death or just bored to death by his boring ID card government existence), and having her kids shoot themselves playing with guns even though she insisted they were for "protection" and it was within her rights under the 2nd amendment to "bear arms"… as well as to accidentally kill her own family with them.

It was a shame too, because Dot was going to explain to Blane that Cheltenham was probably the most happening place in all of Melbourne by then, so trains went by all the time, and you never had to worry about them closing. It only took 10 minutes to get from the city to home. Plus the hillshoist was still very useful for drying clothes, and the house was worth 25 million dollars since it was right in the thick of things. Young people used to wonder how that old lady lived in an actual house in such a hip neighborhood. It still had a faux leather couch. It was very comfortable you see. And thanks to the ravages of global warming, it was always quite comfy- you never even had to wear a sweater inside.

I also got something in the mail saying our i130 is on hold until I provide more info. That "more info" is a g-325 for me. They said I didn't include it. I have a photocopy in that yellow folder of what I sent with the i130 and DID include a 325 for me (and you, which they do have). Remember, we both had to include our own 325s and we thought it was dumb since they both had the exact same info? Who knows what happened. This is what I'm talking about. Does this mean I am supposed to send another 325 with another cheque for a couple hundred bucks? Do you see how these people don't deserve to live? I'm pretty sure this is starting to make me prejudiced against govt workers for the rest of my life.

I love you very much though. That, we can both be sure of. :)


kiki said...

it's easier for him to come here

why doesn't he just do that>

Mars said...

poor blane. seriously.

and thanks for bolding the "i love you very much though"... we might have missed that part if you didn't.

Dot said...

yes, it's love.

no, he can't really come here. he's half way through his masters, whereas i have just about finished mine.

anyway, it's New York... i wanna go!

Mex said...

i done poo poo

Mex said...

oh fab... look at that!

i done poo poo! and arent i just so cute and proud of myself!

am going to fucking kill you mars

actonb said...

Poor Dot - all those nasty bureaucrats making life hell for you. It seriously sounds like some Monty Python sketch.

But don't stress - even Death cannot stop True Love!

Dot said...

actonb - really? at this stage 'death' has moved up to option c (after, a.) keep trying to figure out headache forms and b.) pay a horrible American lawyer heaps of our $$$$)