28 February 2008

My Life as The Temp
by Mars

Day three
It's good being The Temp, i have absolutely no responsibility other than to turn up at 9am sharp, look busy for by 7.5 hours and keep my breaks timely. No one talks to me unless i talk to them, and that's the way i like it. This job could not be any less like my old job at home, and aside from the fairly average pay, i think this new lifestyle might just suit me.

Down-side of course, is that as i am only The Temp, no one has bothered to set me up with personalised computer access and i therefore, don't have email. I log in as Temp2, and until today, i hadn't even bothered to open up Outlook. It was by accident really, that i discovered that someone else in the company is also logging in as Temp2.

His name is Keith and Keith is boarderline illiterate. After going through 'his' (my?) Inbox, Sent Items and Deleted Items, i have acertained the following information about 'Keith'. Keith is gay, and he has the hots for his friend Susan's friend, Max. He's seen this 'chap' on my space (sic) and wants Susan to set him up. Susan says Max is straight, but Keith isn't convinced.

'Keith' also has some sort of a lover, named Stephen, who he likes to... shall we say... re-live special moments with, via email.

There is a woman in the office called 'Caz' (apparently), and 'Keith' and 'Caz' have had some sort of a run in resulting in 'Keith' calling 'Caz' every name under the sun, including, but not limited to; a 'fat arsed nose picker'.

The thing i like most though, is that 'Keith' refers to himself (when emailing his friends) as 'Supertemp'. This is interesting, and i am considering a challenge... i mean, i'm pretty good...

Anyway, 'Keith' talks about all sorts of people i can only assume work in the office too... and i'm dying to know who he, and all the people he talks about, actually are.


Amanda said...

That's hilarious. Imagine the fun you could have using the same email address at Keith... a whole world of hilariity could ensue.


Angelina said...

You have to take advantage of this situation!

dot said...

Yeah, you need to start writing emails 'from Keith'. Stir things up a bit.

jiminycricket said...

I thought Keith was into Scotch Eggs, not dudes.
What if you start setting him lewd reminders in his outlook?
Actually, I don't think a situation as perfect as this has ever occurred.
You could seriously mess with this guy. And I think you should, just to see what havoc you can cause.
I think this could be the way to prove yourself as the one true Supertemp