Dot and Mars: You can't stop us, cause we like doing it

At work last week we were talking about tattoos, who had them and where etc. Most people were showing off their wares and explaining their choices, and for the most part, it was pretty interesting. Unsurprisingly, a few people had these Asian symbols that were all the rage... these two yobbo blokes with Asian symbols were given the hilarious (in at least five different ways) nick-name of the Lemon Chicken Brothers. Needless to say, they weren’t amused… I was though, and the shittier they got, the funnier the whole situation became.

I later met a friend from school for dinner, and she suggested going somewhere in Chinatown. I'd actually never been there, so thought why not. We got seated and the longest menus in the history of the world were handed to us. My experience with Chinese food over the years has been somewhat... limited... and i was quite embarrassed to go the safe option and order the Lemon Chicken.

The final humiliation of that meal was when i had to ask for a fork to eat my Lemon Chicken. Don't think i didn't realise the ridiculousness of the situation at the time... I went bright red, woofed the Lemon Chicken, while trying not to look too closely at the "chicken" and work out which part of the animal it actually came from.

We walked around to Federation Square for a drink and i later caught the train home. I was walking along the tracks taking a short-cut home after getting off at the station, and the Lemon Chicken had come back to haunt me and had given me hiccups. This alley is dark and skinny and it's always a bit creepy walking through there. So i checked behind me to see if anyone else were following me down there: Clear. So proceeded to hiccup my way home.

Suddenly, i caught a glimpse of a shadow behind me, turned around and there was a man right there, practically walking on my heels. I packed myself, made a loud gasp! noise and said to the man, "Christ, you scared the hell out of me!". He assured me he wasn't dangerous and i beleived him (though i did speed up..). After walking a few more steps he called after me with great amusement.. "Hey, atleast i cured you of your hiccups!"

Don't think i'll order Lemon Chicken again.

Done by Mars