16 October 2006

At work last week we were talking about tattoos, who had them and where etc. Most people were showing off their wares and explaining their choices, and for the most part, it was pretty interesting. Unsurprisingly, a few people had these Asian symbols that were all the rage... these two yobbo blokes with Asian symbols were given the hilarious (in at least five different ways) nick-name of the Lemon Chicken Brothers. Needless to say, they weren’t amused… I was though, and the shittier they got, the funnier the whole situation became.

I later met a friend from school for dinner, and she suggested going somewhere in Chinatown. I'd actually never been there, so thought why not. We got seated and the longest menus in the history of the world were handed to us. My experience with Chinese food over the years has been somewhat... limited... and i was quite embarrassed to go the safe option and order the Lemon Chicken.

The final humiliation of that meal was when i had to ask for a fork to eat my Lemon Chicken. Don't think i didn't realise the ridiculousness of the situation at the time... I went bright red, woofed the Lemon Chicken, while trying not to look too closely at the "chicken" and work out which part of the animal it actually came from.

We walked around to Federation Square for a drink and i later caught the train home. I was walking along the tracks taking a short-cut home after getting off at the station, and the Lemon Chicken had come back to haunt me and had given me hiccups. This alley is dark and skinny and it's always a bit creepy walking through there. So i checked behind me to see if anyone else were following me down there: Clear. So proceeded to hiccup my way home.

Suddenly, i caught a glimpse of a shadow behind me, turned around and there was a man right there, practically walking on my heels. I packed myself, made a loud gasp! noise and said to the man, "Christ, you scared the hell out of me!". He assured me he wasn't dangerous and i beleived him (though i did speed up..). After walking a few more steps he called after me with great amusement.. "Hey, atleast i cured you of your hiccups!"

Don't think i'll order Lemon Chicken again.

Done by Mars

28 comments:

Adam said...

What will you order if not for Lemon Chicken? I think you need to research the perfectest Mars Chinese meal.


What are you doing still reading the comments? Study up dude!!

Mars said...

Hmm.. don't really love Chinese food. Maybe, i'll go REALLY adventurous next time and order beef in black bean. Don't know if anyone else has ever gone there before... hehe

kiki said...

i like that man, he sounds witty

Adam said...

Could he be a guest blogger?

kiki said...

let us find him and invite him to guest blog.

Adam said...

Maybe he already has a blog, man, that'd be sweet. No more wasting time hanging around here waiting for his irregular quotes.

Mars said...

Yes, let's invite the strange man from the alley-way to my house... no! to my bedroom to do a 'guest blog'.. whatever that is.

Brilliant!

Genius!

Clearly, Dot and i are inadequate for the likes of you two. That's it, i'm finding some new innernerd friends.

Martie said...

Yo, I wanna know if you're pissed off because the trains are now NOT stopping at OUR station on the express services.

That is all.

Mars said...

Yo, i'm not pissed off at all.. the train always stops at my station. Where do you get on? I always thought it was Mentone, but now i'm thinking Highett.

You're just trying to throw me off the scent!

Martie said...

It is Mentone!

They've changed the timetables. The express now goes Caulfield-Chelt-Mordialloc, misses out on Mentone all together.

WHAT SECRET EXPRESS MENTONE TRAIN ARE YOU GETTING THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT??

Mars said...

I don't get on at Mentone!

Cheltenham to Mordialloc... i haven't heard of this at all. Mind you, i don't really pay attention to anything that goes on past Chelt to be honest.

Bad luck eh.. but you know, the walk from Cheltenham to Mentone is only about 25 mins. You could just get off at Chelt and walk. UNLESS, you live on the Parkdale side of Mentone, in which case, you're screwed.

Martie said...

OMG I'm living a lie; I thought you got on at Mentone.

Now I'll never see you at the train station.

And as far as walking from Chelt to Mentone. I'm screwed.

Mars said...

Hmmm.. it's true, you probably wont see me at the station. You might see me on the train though.

But probably not, cause i'm always running late and get a fairly un-busy train after peak-hour(s) has finished.

Yo, if you want to stalk me... just ask.

Martie said...

Hahaha.

Going to Safeway now!

Adam said...

I see it took you all of 38 minutes to find new internerd friends.

Youz got mad skillz.

Adam said...

P.S) I used to go to that safeway a time ago...

Mars said...

Jealous?

You should be. From all indications, she's a pretty top chick.

Heh... i warns d'ya..

Adam said...

NO!


Fine. I hope you and Martie have a great bloglife together. I'm happy with my choice of alleyman.




I've just got something in my eye...

Mars said...

LOLZ... alleyman...

PS - did you grow up down here? Something you wrote gave me that impression a while ago and i meant to ask. Now the Safeway thing. Speak.

Yo, i'm going to Coles now - WHOA! No-one saw that coming, did they?!

Martie said...

Fraternising with the enemy now, eh???

Martie said...

Err, Coles, not Adam

Mars said...

What can i say.. Coles has more to offer me.

Man.. i need a new post, but haven't got a brain.

Enny said...

*busily resenting being the lowly Canberran*

Steph said...

Me too Enny. clearly, all the action is happening in Safeway and around various Melbournian train stations.

Adam said...

I'm sure you two will have exciting lives too one day.

Dave Mack said...

hahaha nice story!!!

p.s. word on the the street is that dave mack has returned to blogging

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