01 August 2006

Dear god i am FREAKING OUT.

FREAKING THE FUCK OUT! i have to tell the internet. The internet will help me through this moment...

Emo has returned after a three day drug binge absence. So i am standing there in the kitchen and he opens the door to his room and we are chatting. Normal, like. And i notice something behind him sitting up on the shelf...

"What the fuck is that"? i ask, looking in its direction.
"Ohh..heh.. don't ask.." is the response i'm met with.

Let me paint the picture. An empty naggon of Jim Beam. A cenitmetre of white liquid in the bottom.



There is spoof in my house.

Spoof on the shelf.

Bottled spoof.

That's disgusting. That's foul. That's fucking off. I declared as i'm walking out.

Spoof, people. SPOOF! On the shelf!

Internet, tell me i'm not over-reacting.


Enny said...


Dot said...

i don't get it.

what do you mean 'spoof in a bottle'?

Bonnie Conquest said...

are you feckin serious?

Mars said...

I am sure. I am serious. I've been having night-mares.

Dot, you are clearly not normal. What do you mean 'don't get it'? SPOOF! In a Jim Beam bottle. It's fucking disgusting. Look on the mantle, it's probably still there. According to him "it's art".


kiki said...

you're telling me he masturbated into a bottle??

that's kinda odd

Dot said...

thanks for explaining it KIKI.

doing it into a bottle would be more effort than it's worth, even for arts sake. but i suppose a guy would have to confirm that... anyone?

DelightfulJen said...

It may be a silly question, but why bottle it?

In case some female needs to be impregnanted by Emo at a moment's notice?

To start a collection for some sort of world record?

Boys work in myterious ways.

ilse said...

Only one way to find out... swishy swishy.



Maybe it is runny clag glue?


i said...

oh god.. thats just ... ewwwwww... im sorry. but what exactly are you going to do with a bottle of spoof!?

Is he going to try and FILL the bottle!?!? cause.. thats just kinda sad.. tell the boy he is much better off going out there and getting laid!!


kiki said...

DOT> it would be extremely hard. seriously. like you'd have to do it into a cup somehow, then (again somehow) transport it into a bottle. i'm assuming it doesn't siphon particularly easily...

my guess is that he has a really (like really) small penis and he actually 'does it' with the bottle.

Susanne said...


Dave Mack said...


....(the juice of) JIM'S BEAN**

* I don't know who they are
**shit pun

Jessie said...

DOOOOOOOOOOODE!! That is just GROSS. EW. Ew. Ew.

Steph said...

I'll load the gun. You start digging a grave.
This boy is sick, and must die!!

Oh better idea. Tell him to drink it. For arts sake.

audrey said...

At least he doesn't do it into a sock and then sneak it into your laundry.

Because that would be sick.

kiki said...


he is ssssoooo post modern, like, yeah

what kind of music is this sicko into?
i'm guessing 'hard core' shit like Simple Plan and maybe some Postal Service for when he's coming down... and he probably cuts himself too no?

Enny said...

*starts slow clap*

photo..... Photo.... PHOTO....!!!

Dave Mack said...

photo..... Photo.... PHOTO....!!!

Mars said...

Funny you should mention a photo kids... i went back for a second look today, and would you believe... IT'S DISAPPEARED (off the mantle).

I am still not coping at the thought of if being somewhere in the house though.

If it re-appears, i'll have the camera-phone (and the plethora of abuse) at the ready.

Just so you know, i am not above posting a photo of someone else's blow on the internet. That's why you love me.

Mountjoy said...

A mate and I had a running joke at high school - our idea of purgatory would be where we walked into a room, were faced with a garbage bin (how old am I!!!) and are told to "fill it" before we could leave.