29 January 2009

The blog must go on... (despite a TERRIBLE template that has ruined everything!)

Job hunt continues. I applied for 7 real and 4 fake jobs last week. 'Real' means it's working for a company that pays you money. 'Fake' means it's working for a company that used to pay someone money but, when the economy died, fired this person and is now trying to hire an unpaid intern to do their job.

I only apply for intern positions for the sake of applying for something. It keeps me off the streets.

Yesterday, surprise, 3 of the intern companies contacted me to schedule interviews. Sigh... I'm too old to be the intern! It's embarrassing! However, I've done internships in the past that have led to employment, and being the intern is better than being the girl who watches Buffy the Vampire Slayer all day on teevee.

I went to one of these interviews today. And, surprise, I got the (fake) job.

I'm going do it. I've even a little bit excited to do it. It's just a shame my amateur career (real ladies don't make money from their hobbies) is not sustainable beyond a few months.

Meanwhile, just a minute ago, I got an email from one of the companies I applied for a 'real' job at. They want to know what my salary requirements are. I know this game. It goes:

1. 200 people apply for a job.
2. 20 people are asked what their salary requirements are.
3. 2 people are asked in for an interview (the 2 people with the most 'competitive' requirements).
4. 1 person is given a job (the better dressed person and/or the person with the least offensive Facebook profile pic).

I've actually made it to level two. Yippee. But progressing to level three is really hard. I need to think up the most realistically horrible salary. Not too high. But it can't be too low, or they will think I'm pathetic; Dear Mr Man, I'm willing to work for you for $2 an hour because my passion to work in the arts it what drives my ambition to strive for the best and contribute to a company that improves humanity's lot on this wretched planet and if I can be part of that then, well, that's a way of achieving immortality and that's enough reward for me, Sincerely Ms Suck.

I know, I know... how is this different from interning for free? Because interning is honest. And you don't pay tax on honesty.

$25,000 a year?


Dan said...

I guess you can say to people you're doing the job for love not money. I say that, but have a hard time keeping a straight face as I contemplate whether it is possible for one to sustain themselves on a diet of gruel. Where on earth does one buy gruel from these days anyway?

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Dot said...

Jeez, are gruel or chantix the only options I have left?!?!?