14 July 2008

Hopeless. And melodramatic. But…

I’m an idiot!

I’m an idiot!

Ah!

Ah!

Gah!


I applied for five jobs this week. It’s slow going as I’m still finding my voice with the job-application-wanker-lingo. My problem is: how to express in a one page letter how amazingly qualified I am while also being succinct with just a touch of spunk.

For example, when applying for jobs at galleries the job description always includes, ‘must be detail oriented’ or ‘have good attention to detail’. So I needed to find a way of saying that I was a touch anal without making it sound too… well, anal.

So I came up with this:

“I have a good eye for detail, and am the kind of person enjoys seeing a painting hung square.”

Did you catch it?

I certainly missed it for every one of the FIVE applications I copy and pasted that DAMN sentence into.

I left out the word WHO, eg, ‘Am the kind of person WHO enjoys seeing…’

The most tragic mistake ever.

So cruel!

So, to sum up. In the sentence in which I am bragging out how detail oriented I am… I leave out an entire word so that the stupid sentence reads like I’m Dottie from the Block:

‘I am the kind of person enjoys seeing a painting hung square, cause that shit is WHACK if it ain’t straight.’

5 comments:

Mars said...

you absolute dunce.

i would have proof-read for you... but you never asked.

Amanda said...

Oh man, that's got to be devastating. Such a good line, completely to waste. You just have to hope that some of those reading the sentence will completely skip it and not realise it- skim reading will do that to a person.

kiki said...

it's a pretty bland sentence with or without the "who"
you need more adjectives, you can never hae too many adjectives

“I have an exceptional touch for detail, with a keen eye for the smallest imperfection.
I am the kind of person who takes immense pleasure in seeing a painting hung square. I believe it is paramount in order to be able to take in the full story that the picture is trying to tell.”

or shit like that
kna mean?

Femikneesm said...

Should it be "a painting hanging squarely?"....There's something about the tense that's not quite right....Oh my FSM, I, too, am anal. Clearly. Good luck with the job hunt - maybe they won't notice the missing word!

Kiki - that's quite a sentence.

dot said...

Mars, how is your job hunt going?

Amanda, yeah, I generally assume applications are lucky to even get skimmed over. Hopefully this is the case. :)

Kiki, that is ridiculous. An application needs to be PITHY. I reckon a potential employer would just end up resenting someone for making them read such a long explanation of one point.

Femikneesem, 'square' can mean at right angles, can't it? Oh dear, another seed of doubt has been planted...