05 January 2007

Fashion this summer is cruel. I mean, it's always cruel, but this year it seems even more-so.

Exhibit A


These fucking play suits will be the end of me. Yes aren't they cute etc... but honestly, i'm almost 26 now, things have long ago gone south, i can't wear little itty bitty short-shorts... although, it seems the rest of the world, well, can.

Exhibit B
Cute little dress, with high belt. HIGH BELT. I know this isn't any great news flash to anyone, but apparently belts aren't used for holding trousers up anymore, they're used for holding boobs up.

The one saving grace, as best i can tell...

Exhibit C

Leggings, for fucks suck. But they're only called leggings if you're from the 80's... now they're called footless tights. They're fucking leggings.

So to complete the look this summer, you also need...

Exhibit D
Enormous sunglasses

You also need...

Exhibit E


An enormous bag, big enough to carry ALL your important things...

And lastly...

Exhibit F

A hott fake tan.



And then you're good to go. Only thing is, you'll probably look like every other asshole walking down the street.

I, on the other hand, am just going to stay in doors.

done by Mars

12 comments:

Chesty LaRue said...

Ew. What has that tanned chick got stuck between her boobs? And why are they so shiny? They look like slightly molten plastic.

Amen, Mars. Amen.

My big fashion gripe this season is a boy one: Those tight tight tight hipster jeans that some of the emo boys are wearing this season make them look extremely, extremely unendowed. Disturbingly so. I don't usually look at strange boys crotches but whenever I see a boy in those tight tight jeans, all flat across the front, I just can't help trying to figure out where on earth he's hidden his manparts.

redcap said...

Hear, hear! There's something very wrong about playsuits on anyone over the age of 12.

And leggings must die. Especially when worn under dresses. Supre has a lot to answer for.

Enny said...

That playsuit looks like a world of annyoying... "Woops, by boobs are slipping out - best pull it up.. Ooch! Wedge, best pull it down..' etc.

gigglewick said...

Playsuits - boobs hanging out or enormous wedgie. There is no in-between.

Also what is with those shorts with built-in braces that seem to come over your shoulder and then SHOULD sit exactly across where your nipples are? What is that???

At least the boy jeans these days actually hide all trace of manhood, not like the "lift and separate" tight pants of the 1960s (anyone who has seen an Eric Clapton cover from that era knows what I'm talking about)

DelightfulJen said...

I can't imagine playsuits would be one size fits all, I am quite tall and I have a fairly long body, so I don't think a body suit would be very attractive on me (aside from the fact no one needs to see my naked thighs and all).

I love big sunnies though, they have been my "thing" since I was in about Year Eight, way before Ms Richie even considered them. She's copying ME.

Leggings are wrong, I see so many girls wearing beautiful dresses with a big black pair of leggings poking out the bottom, WHY?! If you have cold legs, wear pants. If you don't like bare legs, wear pants. Leggings are unforgivable!!

actonb said...

OK. The play suit - it looks cute on my kids. Fullstop. It's the same as overalls - no-one over the age of 12 should wear them.

The high wrap-around stupid-looking belt - they look like a sack of potatoes. And I've suddenly started channeling my grandmother.

The leggings - I have to admit I think they look kinda cute on the Young People Today. But only under flowy little sundresses. Not under shorts. Even *urgh* Formal Shorts. However the leggings look try-hard-y on anyone over the age of 25. Which means my school-teacher mother-of-3 friend. And I can't think of a nice way of telling her...

Lulu said...

OMG, I don`t live in Australia anymore so this is the first time I have seen what you refer to as a play-suit. OMG....I am sorry, what were they thinking?

I don`t mind leggings however, but only in winter (why in summer???) and most of the time I wear stocking instead and boots if I am going to wear a skirt of dress, mainly cos it is so fucking cold!

However that play suit over leggings would kill me.

kiki said...

i wear over-alls everyday, but always only ever do up one strap

FYI

Mars said...

too tubby to do both straps up, or is it all part of the look? heh...

Aussie Rock Chick said...

Holy crap those playsuit things are horrid!! I'm with y'all on that one.

Now. The leggings issue. I have a bona fide excuse.

Picture this: you're checking out the latest hot band, they look pretty cool, the chick keyboard player has on a cute dress, comes down to about her knees. She sits down at the keyboard and whoops! You get a glimpse of her undies in all their glory. She could really use a bikini wax. Not exactly what you paid to see.

So, the logic of the leggings (yes, they are leggings) is that they cover up my lady bits and/or flabby thighs so I can wear cute little dresses onstage and not have to keep my legs together like a nun.

Excused??

Mars said...

i actually don't mind the leggings either. i own some, but haven't worn them yet... something about the look makes me feel wrong/trying-hard-to-look-young-but-instead-look-like-an-arse. dunno. so yeh, if it means your audience doesn't see the babymaker - excused!

Aussie Rock Chick said...

Cool, that's good. Perhaps when I pass the three oh mark I will have to reassess. You're right though, Supre has a bloody lot to answer for.