This chick wanted to bash me on Friday night.
Can't imagine why. Well... i can. It's because i have no self control and i can't just... say... shut the fuck up for once.... but instead seem to find the need to mouth-off a people on the street.
I was waiting for a taxi on King street for about half an hour on Friday night, right. Although it was actually only the first day of December, it appeared quite apparently that the silly season was yet again upon us, and suddenly taxis and all things transport-like at 3am were a signifficant commidity. For most of the half an hour i stood still, in the one place with my arm pointlessly in the air. I was pretty much asleep on my feet, i'd been drinking at a bar (with a tab!) since 5pm and was, quite rightly, rooted.
After realising that i wasn't getting anywhere fast and was quite likely about to fall asleep in the gutter, i started to do a panic. I ran across the other side of the street thinking that all the taxis were definitely coming from that direction. They weren't. So i went back where i was standing before, where a group had now congregated on my corner.
So this drunkity bird and her fella are walking past a dishevelled Mars, and she slurs in my direction... "You goin'a Southbank?"
"No" says i, "Cheltenham"
To which she responds "Pfft! Wouldn' even know where that is!"
At this point i should have walked away.
JUST WALK AWAY, MARS
WALK AWAY, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG, WALK AWAY!
But i didn't.
"Well you're an ignorant FUCK, aren't you" spits i...
She spun around, suddenly quick and nimble on her feet and launched herself at me. Sadly for all involved, i'm all talk, and look less like this (which would have been handy) and more like this (which was quite useless). Being in no position to fight this girl, i squealed and ran into the middle of the group of people standing on my corner.
Thankfully for all involved (mostly me), the girl's boyfriend dragged her off home and i lived to tell the tale.
I've never been in a fight before (sibling fights don't count) and i'm not sure at 25 years of age, this is my time. I'm quite happy to have missed that boat... Anyway, things have really gone downhill for me in the way of mature, responsible behaviour since Dot left. I'm sure she'll use her absolute favourite word for describing me in the comments here... i await with baited breath.
Done by Mars
6 years ago