09 December 2008

Oh Internet!

It has happened again, and i've found myself living with yet ANOTHER fucking moron. After living with four certifiable morons earlier this year (which i really didn't have the energy to write about), i have moved into a flat with another special individual.

This individual was born a Catherine, but since changed her name to something thoroughly ridiculous, so ridiculous that i actually can't even call her by that name and instead just begin conversation with her, or refer to her as 'my housemate' or 'LL'.

Before i moved in here, i obviously came to meet LL and have a look around... saw the flat, reasonably priced and in the presitgous M1 postcode, 10 min walk to work and into town... i could have been living with rats and i still would have wanted to move in. When i met LL, she told me she had ME. Not having much knowledge of ME, i didn't think it'd be that much of an issue to me, so didn't really give it another thought.

I've been here two months now, and honestly came into this whole scenario with an open mind. I didn't really know what ME was, how it effected people or to what extent. I have read a bit (ok, i read wikipedia) about it on the internet, and now understand. I know it's a legitimate illness and that suffers are given a hard time and told they have 'yuppie flu' and such. That said, i think i have moved in with the most indulgent sufferer of ME ever. This individual does nothing to help her cause, and it's starting to effect my lifestyle.

She is also a lesbian. Which is fine, again, not something which would effect me. But she's one of those annoying individuals which let one certain characteristic define their personality. Like people with really really long hair - it's always something they are insanely proud of, a talking point and it becomes a defining part of their persona. Anyway, i find LL a really annoying lesbian, in that ALL her friends are also lesbians. WHY? It's just annoying. All the books she reads and movies she watches are, i dunno, gay. So you root women? Big deal! Get another fucking interest!

Anyway, so now i've introduced you to this 'character' you will have to stay tuned for more fun stories about LESBIAN PARTIES IN MY HOUSE ALL FUCKING NIGHT WHEN I HAVE TO WORK THE NEXT DAY. Etc and so forth.

8 comments:

kiki said...

how come everytime Dot does a post you always do one straight after?

Wood said...

When LL (what the fuck does that stand for?) and co are next pissing you off ask which of them is the male and female in their relationships. I often like to ask that just for annoyance value.

Columbo said...

please can i say what LL stands for ? please please?????!!!

Mars said...

NO! it's very crude and i don't like admiting to myself (or anyone else) that i sort of call her the full version by calling her LL (the short version, obvs).

Columbo said...

ok... answers on a postcard then...

Mex said...

Lesbian Lover?

Wood said...

Lisa Labia?

Boo said...

My immense sympathies. I was plauged with one of those for about 8 months. Coincidentally, she was known as 'LL' or 'Landmark Lesbian' - as she was well entrenched in that crazy mind cult, and had her particular brand of sexuality permeate the house like a fug. Baby dykes are intolerable.

She moved her girlfriend in after seeing her for about 2 seconds (no asking me! no rent paid!!), there was hysteria and insanity every day, sex toys in the bathroom etc etc - Drove me mad - you must move out.

And a big bonjour to Audrey over there - I have never met her but am well enjoying her tales of high spirits abroad!!