Dot and Mars: You can't stop us, cause we like doing it

Many moons ago, i used to have another blog where i wasn't anonymous (not that i'm feeling particularly anonymous around here these days...), i posted as myself and used to spurt my opinions and stories far and wide all over the interwebs. Anyway, i've had cause over the last couple of days, to retrieve the password on that blog, and i've been re-reading some of my old posts, which i must say, are fairly fucking amusing.

From the vault! 17th October 2005

Post 1998 - Not so great

I am going to say what i know is on everyone's mind, no matter how controversial...

NO-ONE GOOD HAS JOINED THE INTERNET SINCE 1998!

Hallelujah and Amen to that.

Back in the day when the internet wasn't almost as hip as it is now, people were good. They were honest, and mostly just looking for a distraction from study. None of us really knew what we were doing on these fandangled computers just yet, we were innocents. We weren't interested in using the internet as a resource, we just wanted to talk dirty on MIRC, work out how exactly cyber-sex was actually possible, and pick up e-mail penpals on the Hotmail classifieds. Napster was in full swing, and we were doing our best to download as much illegal music as our dial-up connection would allow. Times were good. Internet life was simple.

I usually have ICQ and MSN open while I'm online. Almost everyone on my lists have either stopped using chat, or have since got a new email/life or whatever. Consequently, I would say 90% of my contacts are never online. As in, never. But I can't delete them, becasue then the whole thing looks pretty damn sad with only 3 people on your entire list. So you keep them on for the sake of nostalgia. Then you have the 5% of contacts who are ALWAYS online.. but Away or Busy. Useless, but atleast they warm the sheets and make you feel like you've got a couple of mates. And then you might have another 5% of your high school friends/people you met over-seas while travelling, who you occasionally see online and catch up with. But this number is invariably dwindling, as people go off, get married and really don't have time for you any more.

Needless to say, when I had what seemed like a relatively normal person (and you do have to keep this in context, I call a random chatter with potential one that doesn't start conversation off with "ASL?").. random chat me on ICQ a few weeks ago, I was interested.. As we all know ICQ is the devils blow-job, so me and my new random quickly moved on to MSN. Davewave (the freakin' legend) starts on about how we definitely, totally have heaps in common and should totally meet up for a coffee, dude. Yes, the Liberal voting, Chilli Peppers/Foo Fighters, MMM-type listener, thinks he has something in common with me. So I thinks to myself, let us not to too harsh on young Davewave, I am getting on in years aftereall, and the husbands are not lining up at my front door.. just because this person seems to like the polar opposites on what I would consider two of my more passionate subjects of interest; let us not be hasty. You can't judge a book by its cover, or a person by their music tastes, or political views. So a week or two go on, more mindless chit-chat about nothing (ahem, i mean ALL the things we have in common), and then all of a sudden, like a husband of 35 years, he turns on me! Starts attacking me about how i'm not normal because i wont give him my phone number and how he could find it if he wanted to. He also knows where I live, and who my friends are. I wish I'd saved the conversation, but I think i was too busy trying to block the prick. Obviously this person wasn't as irresistable as he thought he was, and turns out, he's a bit of a psycho.

Obviously, I didn't go and meet this person, and my GOD am i glad i have standards... i DO, goddamit! So my future husband will have to wait another day... because if he's hiding somewhere on the internet, he will have to PROVE membership prior to 1998 before i'll even consider adding him to the elite group on my MSN list. Humph!