19 April 2008

I've just started a new job, which as of yesterday, i have been in for 14 days. And it sucks shit. I'm in a bit of a predicament though, you see... while this new job is a 12 month contract (thus offering me a guaranteed income, paid holidays, quite good salary etc.) they're all over my arse.

Those who know me would know that my work ethic is somewhat... lack-luster. I just wanna come in to work (at any time within an hour of my official starting time), play on the internet, email my mates and talk on the phone a bit. I'm happy to do a bit of work as well, but really, i just wanna do my own thing and have people leave me the fuck alone.

I knew from the out-set that this job was no good when i realised on the first day: no internet. So i went out and got really fucking quite drunk that night, mourning the loss of the internet i never had. To be fair, i thought i'd done an out-standing job getting to work at all the next day, and considered the fact that i was only 20 minutes late on my second day, insignificant.

My boss, who i think looks exactly like a Busty Wench, happened not to see things in my exact light, and i got blasted. We were off to a good start... Other things happen during the week, for instance, i got told off for having my phone on my desk... not actually talking on my phone, i could just SEE it. Anyway, i get the definite feeling over the next couple of weeks that i'm being watched... i did initially think i was being a tad paranoid, but turns out I WAS ON THE MONEY.

Anyway, so far, this work has been too "busy" since i started and no one has really had any time to give me the time of day train me on anything, and instead i have been given these sort of odd-jobs... archive this, re-write these envelopes, file that. So to pass the time, i've been emailing everyone and anyone i thought might write back.

I got called into my 'big bosses' office yesterday and was presented with A 16 PAGE REPORT listing all of the 600-700 emails i've sent over the last 14 days. And i pretty much got the shit ripped through me. At first, i was all... hmm, looks like i fucked up (again?)... So i said sorry and told them i'd stop with the email conversations... but that feeling didn't last long, and then i was all.. you have GOT to be fucking joking.

So i went back to my desk and sat there sniffing my permanent marker in defiance for the rest of the afternoon.

Need new job.


Mex said...

so your days of procrastination are over red rover! ha ha!!!!!

Original Mel said...

Oh God, get the fuck out NOW! For serious.

I worked a job where they handed me a report of all the time I spent on the internet. Like exactly how long I spent on each site. I just looked at it and laughed, and pointed out that maybe if they spent more time doing work and less time worrying about the temp's internet usage they would maybe make some money. They went under not long after I quit. Fuckers.

sublime-ation said...

yeah, how long did they take to do that report? Not exactly cost effective.

Mars said...

8.07 monday morning and i don't wanna gooooooooooooooooo. waah.

Femikneesm said...

You don't need that shit. Surely.

Sorry to add to your stress, but I've just tagged you....

gigglewick said...

dude - I would have commented before now but I have become completely paranoid.

That is just horrific.

dot said...

hey, you just told me this '700 email' story on the phone and i didn't even realise it was posted on our blog ages ago!

sorry Mars, i've really been neglecting this place.

Mars said...

^ that's cause you're shit