Dear Dotski,

I miss you. Not just as my housemate, but as my friend as well.

I miss talking to you in my ineloquent way about different things, and you understanding and being able to help put my thoughts in order. I miss our stupid in-jokes which i'm mostly forgetting (lucky we've got the time machine which is this blog!). I miss not having to go out on the weekend to spend time with a friend. I miss the familiarity, comfort (when the heating was working) and style of our (your?) house.

Generally speaking, i haven't really been homesick at all since leaving home. I do have occasional pangs, but i do miss you and all the funnies.

Love Marsy

I've just started a new job, which as of yesterday, i have been in for 14 days. And it sucks shit. I'm in a bit of a predicament though, you see... while this new job is a 12 month contract (thus offering me a guaranteed income, paid holidays, quite good salary etc.) they're all over my arse.

Those who know me would know that my work ethic is somewhat... lack-luster. I just wanna come in to work (at any time within an hour of my official starting time), play on the internet, email my mates and talk on the phone a bit. I'm happy to do a bit of work as well, but really, i just wanna do my own thing and have people leave me the fuck alone.

I knew from the out-set that this job was no good when i realised on the first day: no internet. So i went out and got really fucking quite drunk that night, mourning the loss of the internet i never had. To be fair, i thought i'd done an out-standing job getting to work at all the next day, and considered the fact that i was only 20 minutes late on my second day, insignificant.

My boss, who i think looks exactly like a Busty Wench, happened not to see things in my exact light, and i got blasted. We were off to a good start... Other things happen during the week, for instance, i got told off for having my phone on my desk... not actually talking on my phone, i could just SEE it. Anyway, i get the definite feeling over the next couple of weeks that i'm being watched... i did initially think i was being a tad paranoid, but turns out I WAS ON THE MONEY.

Anyway, so far, this work has been too "busy" since i started and no one has really had any time to give me the time of day train me on anything, and instead i have been given these sort of odd-jobs... archive this, re-write these envelopes, file that. So to pass the time, i've been emailing everyone and anyone i thought might write back.

I got called into my 'big bosses' office yesterday and was presented with A 16 PAGE REPORT listing all of the 600-700 emails i've sent over the last 14 days. And i pretty much got the shit ripped through me. At first, i was all... hmm, looks like i fucked up (again?)... So i said sorry and told them i'd stop with the email conversations... but that feeling didn't last long, and then i was all.. you have GOT to be fucking joking.

So i went back to my desk and sat there sniffing my permanent marker in defiance for the rest of the afternoon.

Need new job.

How nice; Australia's most redundant job has been filled. Despite having what i would have called, a boy's name, early opinion seems to be that Quentin Bryce is quite 'perfect' for the job. I wouldn't know, i've never heard of her despite the fact that she appears to have been warming a similar seat up in Queensland (surprise surprise) for quite some time.

Anyhoo, while this appointment is yet another 'step in the right direction' for Australia and women in general, in that we now have a woman Deputy PM (not to mention, ginger!), and we're getting a woman GG... i can't help but feel a bit cynical about the whole scenario. Particularly after the appointment of Julie Bishop as Deputy Leader of the Liberal Party, shortly after their shattering defeat last November, in some sort of a thinly veiled attempt to modernise (or whatever) their profile.

No doubt these woman are all well qualified, but it just looks to me as though Mr Butter-wouldn't-melt PM has added another couple of points to his score-board. Let's just hope she doesn't go all 'Kerr' on him.

Maybe i'm having an off day...*

* still love you though Kev... you too, Jules. And Q, i'm sure we'll be the best of friends in no time at all.

Yesterday the charming rogue Seth Hunter* visited the community. He runs one of the tour companies that visits Arnhem Land regularly during the dry season. He must run it quite well too, because his mode of arrival was a privately chartered helicopter. It landed right next to the art centre and was pretty cool. Seth then picked up a local tour guide and headed east for a promotional photo shoot for some crazy decadent coffee table book. When they came back to the art centre in the afternoon Seth told me how another project of his is running celebrity 'outback adventures'. He reckons he'll be bringing Nicholas Cage out to Arnhem Land soon. So, helicopters, coffee table books, and Nicolas Cage. Not what I expected to find coming to live in a remote Aboriginal comminuty... Although, my question is: why does it alway seem to be white people reaping the rewards of this country and culture?

*

Saturday morning an artist came knocking at my door. He had finished a painting and wanted to sell it to me. Now. It was a great painting, but I had to give my Saturday spiel, 'It's a great painting, but I haven't got any money, bring it to the art centre on Monday...' He wasn't happy. He wanted to be paid so he would have money to go to the club that evening for a drink. Obviously I wasn't obligated to give him money, but I really wanted to. However, I managed to stay tough and just kept repeating myself, 'Good painting, no money, see you Monday.' Eventually the artist left. He looked so sad. And annoyingly, I felt so bad! Why do I feel guilty for not giving an alcoholic my own money so he can buy a drink? I should feel guilty when I do pay him at the art centre. But it doesn't work like that. And that's the magic of humbug!

*

After work on Thursday I practiced my driving. I'm getting pretty good with driving a manual. And it's a real test driving around this town, avoiding camp dogs and people and giant car-swallowing holes. And at one point there was a giant pink pig in the middle of the road. But I missed it. Then as I turned back towards home, all these kids started running in front of the car. They are screaming and laughing. It was hilarious. They were so cute! But then, when I drove past the group, one of the kids yelled out, 'Bobo, you fucking cunts!' Charmed.


* All names obviously changed by me.

Many moons ago, i used to have another blog where i wasn't anonymous (not that i'm feeling particularly anonymous around here these days...), i posted as myself and used to spurt my opinions and stories far and wide all over the interwebs. Anyway, i've had cause over the last couple of days, to retrieve the password on that blog, and i've been re-reading some of my old posts, which i must say, are fairly fucking amusing.

From the vault! 17th October 2005

Post 1998 - Not so great

I am going to say what i know is on everyone's mind, no matter how controversial...

NO-ONE GOOD HAS JOINED THE INTERNET SINCE 1998!

Hallelujah and Amen to that.

Back in the day when the internet wasn't almost as hip as it is now, people were good. They were honest, and mostly just looking for a distraction from study. None of us really knew what we were doing on these fandangled computers just yet, we were innocents. We weren't interested in using the internet as a resource, we just wanted to talk dirty on MIRC, work out how exactly cyber-sex was actually possible, and pick up e-mail penpals on the Hotmail classifieds. Napster was in full swing, and we were doing our best to download as much illegal music as our dial-up connection would allow. Times were good. Internet life was simple.

I usually have ICQ and MSN open while I'm online. Almost everyone on my lists have either stopped using chat, or have since got a new email/life or whatever. Consequently, I would say 90% of my contacts are never online. As in, never. But I can't delete them, becasue then the whole thing looks pretty damn sad with only 3 people on your entire list. So you keep them on for the sake of nostalgia. Then you have the 5% of contacts who are ALWAYS online.. but Away or Busy. Useless, but atleast they warm the sheets and make you feel like you've got a couple of mates. And then you might have another 5% of your high school friends/people you met over-seas while travelling, who you occasionally see online and catch up with. But this number is invariably dwindling, as people go off, get married and really don't have time for you any more.

Needless to say, when I had what seemed like a relatively normal person (and you do have to keep this in context, I call a random chatter with potential one that doesn't start conversation off with "ASL?").. random chat me on ICQ a few weeks ago, I was interested.. As we all know ICQ is the devils blow-job, so me and my new random quickly moved on to MSN. Davewave (the freakin' legend) starts on about how we definitely, totally have heaps in common and should totally meet up for a coffee, dude. Yes, the Liberal voting, Chilli Peppers/Foo Fighters, MMM-type listener, thinks he has something in common with me. So I thinks to myself, let us not to too harsh on young Davewave, I am getting on in years aftereall, and the husbands are not lining up at my front door.. just because this person seems to like the polar opposites on what I would consider two of my more passionate subjects of interest; let us not be hasty. You can't judge a book by its cover, or a person by their music tastes, or political views. So a week or two go on, more mindless chit-chat about nothing (ahem, i mean ALL the things we have in common), and then all of a sudden, like a husband of 35 years, he turns on me! Starts attacking me about how i'm not normal because i wont give him my phone number and how he could find it if he wanted to. He also knows where I live, and who my friends are. I wish I'd saved the conversation, but I think i was too busy trying to block the prick. Obviously this person wasn't as irresistable as he thought he was, and turns out, he's a bit of a psycho.

Obviously, I didn't go and meet this person, and my GOD am i glad i have standards... i DO, goddamit! So my future husband will have to wait another day... because if he's hiding somewhere on the internet, he will have to PROVE membership prior to 1998 before i'll even consider adding him to the elite group on my MSN list. Humph!

One of the great ice-breakers when you're in a new country, is meeting people who have also been to your country. I started a new job this week, and an email went out before i arrived to let everyone know i was starting, and that i was from Melbourne. Pretty much the only people who have bothered to talk to me this week are those who have been to Melbourne, and who want me to know how drunk they got in Melbourne, that one time. And i mean, it's fairly naff... but that's cool.. whatever.

Interestingly, in my experience so far, after people have told me how drunk they got, and where (including a truly inspired anecdote of sorts), the topic of conversation can often lead to Aboriginal people. And i cringe, anticipating the direction things are heading.

I don't profess to know shit about shit, but i know that the perception of Australia is not great in regards to the treatment of Aboriginal people, and more often than not, the people i've come across will have some ill-informed opinion on the topic themselves, because they saw 'one' that time, as though the whole concept of our Indigenous people is one giant tourist attraction. I realise that Australia is not alone in this, (and yes, i did go and see a Navajo reservation when i was in America), but it really doesn't sit with me, this attitude towards Aboriginal people. Maybe i'm over-sensitive, but vast generalisations about how 'our government doesn't want 'them' living with 'normal' people' really get right up my arse, and i am reminded about what a shameful history Australia has had, and also how segregated Aboriginal people have been to the point where any sort of influence or even education to some extent, has been kinda absent from my life.

While i'm excited about our new government, i really find it had to try justify that the reconciliation process is under way, changes are happening and progress is being made... It's hard to try to instill any sort of respect towards Aboriginal people when Australia's history has been so rich with out-right ignorance and neglect.

It's just one topic that i really don't like hearing people who have had limited experience with Aboriginal people, or knowledge of the topic, wax lyrical about. I figure if i don't know shit about shit, then it's unlikely someone who isn't Australian and felt the shame of being Australian, at times, in particular with regards to the plight of Aboriginal people, will know shit about, either. So i really don't want to hear their opinions, in this instance.