21 March 2008

My Life as The Temp
by Mars

Day Nineteen
They say lightening never strikes twice... but guess who's back! No, it's not Slim Shady, it's everyone's second favourite Supertemp... 'Keith'!

This week i got into to the work to find that someone had hijacked Temp4, and after not very much investigation, i realised with (let's be honest) some glee, that it was 'Keith'! See thing is, i actually know who the dude is now and he's really quite nice. So i went and said to him... 'yo, Keith, you've hijacked my emails and shit'.

WHICH MAKES US EVEN, as far as i'm concerned. I had Temp4 for like 2 weeks or something... that was two weeks of emails for Keith to read through! Anyway, so he knows i'm in there and can read his shit... but he doesn't seem to care. But i think he probably should.

We all remember 'Stephen' right...? 'Keith's' lurvhuuuuuur.

From: Temporary User 4
Sent: 19 March 2008 08:55
To: Paul
Subject: good morning

Im major peed off with Stephen now I really am having doubts about moveing in with him…

I need some advice

From: Paul
Sent: 19 March 2008 09:33
To: Temporary User 4
Subject: RE: good morning

Hey matey!

Oh no – whats happened bud???

From: Temporary User 4
Sent: 19 March 2008 09:41
To: Paul
Subject: RE: good morning


You know the way rob ripped him off the other week with some other bloke, well that's none of my business but now that rob is spending the week over in Dublin ste has being meeting him and going out with again, and he slept with him again on sun night. And they were out together again last night, I know its totally none of my business but all im trying to do is look out for me mate but its just getting throwing back in me face.

And well deep down I don't want ste over here, im happy enough without him.

From: Paul
Sent: 19 March 2008 09:53
To: Temporary User 4
Subject: RE: good morning

Hmmmm – I wudnt let it annoy u – at end of the day yeh – u lukin out for ya mate but if theres one thing ive lernt about people its that u cant change the way they act/behave no matter how much u wanna – and let them deal with the consequences – if it ends up all crappy then its their fault n u shud just be like 'yeh …woteva'

Also – u kno how desperate sum gays are –all theyre bothed about is sleepin with ppl and havin their ego fed – and it sounds like that's wot theyre doin – ste is obviously putting that above self-respect hehe

I thote u were lukin forward to havin ste liv with u?????

Aaaaaaand, i rest my case.


jiminycricket said...

Your email spying is way more exciting than my email spying.
The best I got was seeing some correspondence between the Two Fat Director Banshees at work that went something like this:

FDB1: I have cake for our meeting!

FDB2: Oooooooh! Yippee. What sort?

FDB1: Double chocolate!

FDB2: YUM! I'm still hungry after lunch!

Losers. Biggest losers.

kiki said...

are they dyslexic?

Felix for Zosia said...

We could all learn something from the wise words of Paul, and "shud just be like 'yeh …woteva'"

Jacob said...

OOOOOOOOoooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh, scandalous!

Felix - totally.

Angelina said...

Oh dear god. That burnt my retinas.