This morning on the train, a man offered me his seat.
AND NOW I'M FREAKING OUT.
Best case scenario; i look pregnant. I mean, i'm pretty porky these days... I do have gut complete with some serious muffin tops, not to mention a fairly considerable lard arse... But pregnant? Really?
Worst case scenario; I am now so fat, i actually look disabled. Like one of these people who can't support their own body weight. Perhaps he was admiring me for the effort it must have taken to get out of bed and get dressed this morning, so he felt sorry for me.
Now i think of it; it was a bit of an effort... I possibly deserve to be admired.
Oh no, i know what's caused this... I had Red Rooter for dinner last night AND IT'S PUSHED ME OVER THE EDGE.
I'm doomed. Not only does the BMI scale call me obese (don't be so smug, it's a cruel unforgiving scale), but regular people now actually think i'm so fat that i'm disabled.
The only other alternative is that he was an ACTUAL POLITE PERSON..
But... that's not possible.
OH MY DOG I LOOK PREGNANT/DISABLED, I'M NEVER LEAVING THE HOUSE AGAIN.