21 February 2007

stupid, smelly and small boobed!!!!!

firstly, gallery assistant interview on Monday. it was a stinking hot day and i was running late and i got to the gallery for my interview and the place was closed. there was no doorbell and it was a roller-door so knocking would have been stupid and i had no credit on my phone to call... so i ran around the streets looking for a public phone. i got really hot!!! so by the time i called and got let into the gallery i wasn't looking too crash hot; sweaty, red faced and...

as i sat down for the interview i realised, 'oh my god... do i smell!?!?!?!'

everyone gets b.o. at least once in their life, don't they?

anyone?

so maybe i smelt, and maybe i didn't. i showered that morning, i was wearing deodorant, but maybe the top i was wearing was on the cusp of being dirty and my running around the streets pushed it over the edge. anyway, i got totally paranoid about it and stuffed the interview.

secondly, today i went for a job as a 'fit model' for Miss Shop, Myer. bleh. Mars and my sister talked me into it because they wanted to see me embarrass myself. a 'fit model' is someone who tries on the clothes at the department store to make sure the sizes are correct. so they don't need to look good or be young, they just need decent proportions.

my sister measured me beforehand and i seemed okay, and for $75 an hour i thought it was worth trying out for, and why am i so stupid? i got to the office and sat around for about half an hour with 10 young, beautiful, tanned, skinny, big boobed things. each minute i sat there i felt more and more silly to be competing with these things to become a 'fit model'.

and then it was my turn.

it started off well with me being the right height.
but then they measured my bust...
"hmmmm" the lady said, "are you wearing a padded bra?"
"uh... it's just a little padded."
WRONG! it was all 'computer says no' after that. the lady whipped through my other measurements and i was out on the street.

so, the moral of this story is i'm a smelly, small boobed unemployed stupid.

4 comments:

Chesty LaRue said...

Oh, the job interview smelly paranoia ... I know it well, Dot. For me it didn't help that the merest hint of nervousness had the same effevct on my sweat glands as turning on a tap.

Too much information, maybe?

But ys. Everyone gets bo at least once. And there's no guarantee they figured out it was you.

Good luck with the hunting.

kiki said...

i've seen you before, i liked your boobs.

and everybody smells at one point in their life

Mex said...

i have always wondered about those house model jobs. i reckon they would be BORING as batshit.

Look on the bright side at least youre not a smelly, small boobed stupid person who volunteered to do someone's transcripts for them and have been typing incoherent drivel for the past hour and have only got through 15 mins of interview and there is still 45 to go.

i think i might end it all very very soon.

meva said...

I hate it when I've been in an interview/meeting/train on a hot day, and make that'squlurp' noise when I stand up because I've stuck to the seat. Very nasty.