04 September 2008

Not the best Wednesday...

A couple of months ago I got an email from an organisation I used intern for requesting "amateur photographers who can document" an outdoor performance event. At the time I was very much unemployed and it felt nice to be wanted, so I wrote back and said I'd be happy to help out. Although, I made sure to point out: "I would describe my photography skills as 'amateur'."

The event is this weekend and tonight was the information session for all staff and volunteers. Although, perhaps I should call it the Information Extravaganza. It was FULL ON with Team Leaders making reports, Site Managers going over legal obligations, Health and Safety officers explaining the difference between 'minor' and 'major' incidents...

...and then at the end of the night the Event Manager turned to me and asked 'What are your plans for documenting the event? Do you need help moving your equipment to the site?'

I giggled (so many people were looking at me!) and answered, 'Oh, um, point and shoot.'

The Event Manager looked really confused, so I explained, 'I'm not A photographer, I'm a volunteer who is going to be taking photos with my little digital camera.'

The Event Manager replied straight-faced, 'Oh, okay... thanks.'

And that was the end of the meeting.

I felt like an idiot and tried to make a quick get-away. However, as I was leaving I walked past the Marketing Director of the company who I worked with when I was an intern. He smiled at me so I stopped to say 'hello'. I was feeling really flustered and for some reason I just started babbling at this man, 'Oh, hi! How are you? I meant to say... I mean, it's funny how I used to intern for you in marketing and I put that on my resume and now I'm working in marketing! And, um, some PR stuff and... Oh sorry..." (This is when I realised how much of an idiot I was sounding like and started scrambling to try and STOP sounding like an idiot, only the problem was I thought I could fix things by talking MORE) "...I just mean, I was thinking, if I saw you tonight I should mention that because it really helped. You know. Me get a job."

Fortunately this man is just one of those always-nice people and he smiled and nodded and, when I finally stopped talking, said, 'Great!'

'See you Sunday then!' And I fled from the room.

As I walked home I had one of those turn-things-over-and-over-and-over moments in my head. I felt a bit down as it seemed to me like every word that popped out of my mouth at the meeting was of the bumbling-fool variety. However, it was a nuanced kind of embarrassment and I eventually managed to convince myself life wasn't so bad...

I passed Borders and decided to go inside to look at the expensive magazines to cheer myself up. The magazine section at my local bookstore is in the cafe area on a raised platform next to the tables and chairs. I selected my magazine and was admiring the cover as I walked down the six or so steps... I STACKED IT. My foot slipped out from underneath me, I over-corrected my balance, I twisted as my feet flew up into the air, and I went BANG BANG BANG hitting each step with arse and elbow.

The cafe went completely silent.

I jumped up so quickly!

As soon as I was on my feet people near me started asking, 'Are you okay? Are you okay?'

I fall over enough to have a standard answer to this question, 'Yes, fine thanks. I'm more embarrassed than hurt.'

However, because my fall was so spectacular it was like every patron of the cafe needed to ask me if I was okay. As I moved through the tables towards the exit everyone I passed asked, 'Are you okay? Gosh, are you okay?'

Eventually it became so ridiculous I raised my voice to make a general public announcement, 'Everyone, I'm fine! Thanks for your concern but I'm fine!'

I left the bookstore and came straight home to blog the whole day down down down...

I also just re-read the email calling for volunteer photographers. I didn't notice this sentence the first time I read it but now it has me concerned: "We welcome any volunteer photographers who have experience and a copy stand work."

What the hell is 'a copy stand work'? If this is some kind of technical jargon for fancy camera equipment then I'm calling in sick on Sunday. Try and save the grain of dignity me and my little camera have left...

Some days I just don't get it.


Mars said...

i did a big lol

dot said...

whenever i fall over i dedicate it to you.

kiki said...

jesus christ dot