Your pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster is not cute, to the rest of the world. No-one, i repeat, NO-ONE, finds your pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster half as adorable as you seem to.
Thusly, please keep your pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster and it's hair dropping/ clawing/ slobbering/ rabid-self the fuck away from me, if at all possible.
Furthermore, if you must bring your completely un-cute pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster to my house, please keep it the fuck off my furniture. SRSLY. And when i glare at you, because you've got it on my furniture... that doesn't mean ignore me, as though i'm being completely unreasonable towards your adorable pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster... it really means start running, cause i'm gonna kill it/ you/ who-the-fuck-ever.
Also, if you don't want me to knee your rodent pet dog/ cat/ goldfish/ hamster in the guts, best you either call it off, or keep hold of its lead, just a little bit closer to yourself. Learn to train that shit.
And just once more, so it really sinks in... it's not cute, and no i wont just pat it to say hello.
Ross Noble was pretty good... Went to Piont Nepean Festival. Pretty good and lame at the same time. The Conti felt my wrath, again... Then my friend came to visit. Got boozed up at the Edgy - WTF? Then i went to F4 the other day... what's with all those little steps? Office-dork "dancing" and much tripping up steps ensued. Began morphing into Dot and ate a Spud with peas on it. Decided to go to Thailand! Then went to the footy. Bought a Swatch watch... And OMG, agreed to go to the Neighbours trivia night. With the potential of meeting two actual Neighbours "stars" Planning a day (year) off work So i can go to the Great Ocean Road for the first time ever... Then going to Blue King Brown And maybe THEN, after all THAT, i'll update the blog properly.
for Easter i went to Darwin for some big city living... and i saw the biggest city guy there ever is/was - Damien from Australia's Biggest Loser! in the fleshy flesh! we went to a backpacker bar in Mitchell Street and Damien's band Dr Elephant happened to be playing. the bar was really packed so it took me awhile to fight my way to the front for a look, and i swear, the only way i recognised him was the neck tattoo (and a couple of extra metres of loose skin gathered around his middle). wow! good on you Damien! there’s definitely an almost good-looking guy inside there.
then i went to a bar called The Vic and danced on a table.
then i went to a bar called Happy Yes and heard a jazz singer called Leah. she had a nice voice but in between songs she kept bagging out The Vic, and it annoyed me how snobbish she was. i mean really... i don't think you can afford to be a snob in Darwin (yes, my snobbish contradiction is noted here).
then i went to the Humtpy Doo tavern and it was the scariest bar i've ever been to in my life. lots of bearded men, tattooed ladies, and kids with mullets (NOT the urban chic kind). the whole place was made a those grey cinder bricks and there was a giant man passed out on the bar.
and what i learnt from this weekend is that when it comes to drinking beer i'm a chameleon and can happily fit in anywhere and drink with anyone. cheers!
Humpty Doo Tarvern... watch out for the hairy critters.
On the recommendation of theinternet, tonight i am going to see Ross Noble. SO IT'D BETTER BE FUCKING GOOD. I'm sure it'll be good... and i'm going with someone who has a completely infectious laugh, which is really funny enough in itself.
THEN TOMORROW, i, and 6999 other people are converging on Point Nepean for the festival. AND I'M PUMPED. it's gonna be fucking good... I'm staying in Sorrento, and the last time i was down there was on NYE which was awesome. Possibly the best NYE i've ever had, in fact. Even if it did end in romantic disater, but i've moved on from that...
ANYWAY, it's gonna be freezing down there, i'm sure of it. I'm bringing polar-fleece back.
SO, all in all, freakin' tops weekend heading my way.
Every year, we at Dot'n'Mars HQ trundle off to Dot's parents place on Easter morning for an egg hunt. Her mum gets some sort of weird pleasure watching grown adults run around with baskets, scrambling for little easter eggs hidden all over the back yard, and in strategically placed washing. But we don't care, cause it's pretty fun, and we end up with all these eggs at the end.
When the excitement is all over with, there is always a gourmet spead put on for morning tea, with sausage rolls and cake and pikelets and all sorts of yummy gear.
Dot reckons that Easter is the best holiday, because there's no real expectations and you can just relax, mooch around the house and have an all round good weekend, and i'm kinda with her on that.
BUT! This year will be the first year in ages that neither Dot or myself will be attending the Egg Hunt. And i'm gonna miss it.
So happy easter Dot, hope you enjoy your favourite holiday up in the wilderness, and that the easter bunny finds you... even if he's not in the form of a middle-aged white woman who speaks Korean and paints pictures of Jesus and all his friends, as is conventional.
Dot and Mars met at high school in Melbourne. Mars didn't like Dot that much, however eventually they got chatting in chathouse.com during IT classes and found they had heaps in common.
After high school Dot and Mars upgraded to ICQ, Messenger and emailing. This kept them in touch until eventually in 2005 they moved in together and started a blog; 'Dot and Mars: Two Housemates, One House, One Blog'.
In 2007 Dot got married and moved to New York City San Francisco to seek her dream job. At the same time Mars moved to Manchester Melbourne to seek her dream man.