06 October 2008

This Fucking Accent!
by Mars

This fucking accent is a pain in the arse and i'm sick of it. When i meet new people, one of the first things they'll do once we've started to get to know each other, after they've at first, politely, asked me to repeat myself numerous times... (before finally telling me i 'mumble' twenty five thousand times), is to take the complete, total and utter piss out of my accent.

They'll start off my laughing at words i say, or the way in which i say them... but that doesn't seem to offer the satisfaction people are after. They will then often move on to mimicing words, phrases or whole sentences i say... but neither does this seem to offer complete satisfaction. It's at this point that they will advance, like an aminal with its prey in sight (but with much less stealth and more vain self-amusement) and begin to speak, at length, in an accent they deem comparable to my own.

And this shits me... At first, i can take it. Yeah whatever, i get it... my accent is weird and you're a bit of a dick... but PLEASE, move on. I don't need you to try to speak back to me in my own accent every time you have something to say (to me or in general)... it's really annoying, and a little insulting. Am i nothing more than the girl with the funny accent? I'd like to think i have, even if it's just a little, something more to offer conversation in general. It's fine once i get to know people, because i guess they kind of stop noticing it, and think that's just the way i sound...

To make matters worse, it's not even just the people over here who listen with curiosity when i speak. The number of people from home who are starting to have a crack at me sounding English is increasing as well. And this is really annoying too... mainly cause i don't! I do an extremely poor English accent, and therefore just don't ever try. If i can't even do the accent when i'm trying, how could i possibly be sounding English when i'm not trying?!

Anyway, i wish people would quit giving me a hard time. It's really fucking boring... as if it wasn't bad enough getting lumped with this nasal bogan accent in the first place, the last thing i need is people talking at me Kath'n'Kim style thinking they're highly amusing and an excellent doer of accents. WANKERS!

12 comments:

Aaron said...

Sorry - I've been a bit lax commenting here!

Aww, don't worry about it too much! I know it's hard and it's easier said than done e.t.c but it's really not worth your time - Does it really matter what these people think of your accent?

Anyway, I think the English Accent is fantastic!!!

Mars said...

any accent is ok until it becomes a mongoloid hybrid..!

kiki said...

didn't the US k&k get taken off air already>?

Felix for Zosia said...

I feel your pain. I endured about a year of Irish people saying "there's a shark in the wordah. Git out of the wordah" to me, because apparently that is what Australian's say.

GiggleWorthy said...

Oh I feel your pain! I lived in London for 15 months and the amount of people back home saying "You sound so English!" and the number of people there saying "I'm terribly sorry, but you have such a strong accent that I can't understand you! Hahaha" drove me nuts!

Firstly, I do NOT have a strong Aussie accent (even before I went over there, people always commented on how I spoke, mainly, I suspect, because I do not sound like a bogan!) and secondly, perhaps if you took your own head out of your ass, perhaps you'd have more luck in understanding me, buddy!

Grrrrr!

Or when they say 'G'day mate' and chortle like they're the funniest person in the world - does anyone ACTUALLY say that? And you're not the funniest person in the world, you're about to be the least funny dead person in the world!

... Not that I still have anger issues over this at all.....

Columbo said...

on behalf of my country I would like to apologise - its not big and its not clever

Wood said...

I got laughed at by 5 people this morning by commenting on someone's fluro coloured t-shirt. I was only trying to be nice to this person because:

a) I wanted him to make me a tea
b) He usually wears t-shirts with holes and the fact I couldn't see his nipple was a nice surprise
c) I liked the 90's

But no. I got told to 'say it again' about 10 times. Then the influx of new Aussie words they've all learned came rushing out. Barbie. Bottle-o. Servo. Bowser. Dicks. Apparently it's luminescent. No, that's the moon. Bright green/yellow is fluorescent. Der.

Mex said...

damn dude - i spent at least an hour on sunday evening copying some geezer's accent... but i didnt do it to take the piss... i LOVE accents and was just trying to copy!

kiki said...

^^^ wierd

Original Mel said...

I lived in Scotland for a year and, somehow, managed to pick up not a Scottish accent but an English one.

Now I live in England and my Aussie accent is so thick sometimes mum tells me to stop being such a bogan.

Go figure.

Angelina said...

Sounds like I have a lot to look forward too. Poor Mars!

sublime-ation said...

While they are undoubtably, as you say, dicks, and don't you forget it, I'd say flaunt it and get them to buy you beers.

(warning: may backfire if Fosters is available)