Last week i decided i had the hotts for someone... but it was weird, cause he wasn't hott. He looked like a bird.

So i was a bit surprised by these sudden feelings; i thought i was more shallow than that...

Anyway, that didn't last long and this week i'm over it. There was a small window of opportunity for birdman, and he missed it.

Back to status quo.

Hi internet. I've been thinking again...

Ever since i was about... 20, i reckon... i wanted a baby. The husband was only ever the means to the ultimate end of baby. However, as more and more of my friends sink futher into what they call life, with their mortgages, husbands, babies (now multiple!) and all that, i am thinking this path in life just aint for me. No shit.

Thing is right, i go out. Like, all the time... and that's what i like doing... coming and going, doing whatever i like. I go out, have fun, get wasted, talk shit... that's it. To the extent where whenever i have some sort of obligation or something, i get really shitty. Dont wanna go.

Imagine have an obligation every day of the week to some... parasite. No thanks.

So this new revelation is a bit of a concern, cause for the last 10 years it's been like i was working towards something. Not sure how exactly i was working towards it, just marking time really till it was ok for me to start to breed. Either i got so old i had to just go for it, got knocked up accidentally or the most unlikely of all scenarios; i actually found a husband for real. But since ive decided breeding is a bit of a crap idea... now what?

Just continue to shop, booze, piss money away, fuck arse around... and before you know it, i'm one of those old hag bitches hanging around bars trying to pick up married men. Hmmm. Is this it now i've removed the idea of what i thought i was put on this earth to do?

So i'm concerned.