It's the constitution. It's MABO. It's just... the vibe.

Went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago, for what I thought was going to be a simple cut and polish, ya know. Dude is a new dentist (for me). Had an unfortunate incident with my last dentist over, well... not paying the bill in a timely fashion. So seeing as this guy had been our family dentist for 20 years or something, he just thought he'd ring my dad up and ask him to pay for me. Even though i was 26. And not living at home. And not having seen or spoken to my dad for 2 years. Good one, dentist - could have just sent me a threat of legal action letter and I'd have paid.

ANYWAY, new dentist. Turns out you don't just go and get your teeth cleaned; you need to do things in order.

1. Go for assessment - real dentist looks and records what's going on in the gob. 'Fillings in 5M, 3I... small chip on 8U... Discolouration on 7D, 4Q and 8P' he dictates to the nurse... 'Are you a smoker?' he asks me - redundant question I would have thought. None the less, I try to respond to his enquiry as best I can, considering his blue-gloved hand is stretching my mouth wider than it's ever been stretched before. Response is something vague like 'I used to be', but he knows. He knows the truth.

So all this takes about 20 mins of poking around and talking in code, until he finally takes his blue-gloved hand out of my mouth and addresses me; 'You need a filling'. Not surprising, but still terrifying. 'Oh' I say, feigning bewilderment in a how could this beeeeee kind of way, 'but nothing hurts', I continue.

He picks up his little mirror on the end of a stick, pulls down the mirror from the roof and asks me to open wide again. 'Look!' he says 'You could drive a bus through there!'.

I am mortified.

Okay, thinks I... this doesn't hurt, I've kinda known there must be a filling coming for a while, I'm just gonna risk it, see how long I can go before it really hurts and I really have to pay it attention. It's going to cost money, it's going to hurt. I'm just leave it and see what happens, who knows, it might even fix itself!

Then dentist dude pipes up again... 'I'm getting the vibe off you'...
'Vibe?' Questions I.

This is not the first time someone has got an indescribable 'vibe' off me. Once I lived in a share house and we had a new housemate move in one evening, Italian chap, quite all right... anyway, I got up in the morning and he'd cleared out after only one night. The landlord later rang to let me know it was because he didn't like my vibe. I've never quite understood this.

Anyway, 'Vibe?' Questions I...
'I am getting the vibe off you that you're not going to come back' he says in quite an accusing manner, i thought...

New Dentist is on to me.

'Uh, no, i'm totally coming back!' I begin to over compensate...
'Tell you what, we don't usually do this... but I can do the filling now if you like' he says to me.

My heart begins to thump. I break into a cold sweat.

'Uh uh uh, no, I can't... I have to get back to work! I have to be home for dinner! I have to drive, you're going to need to sedate me....*nervous laugh*! The over compensation continues.


So I didn't get the filling done, and now I've ruined this dentist too and he thinks I'm a raving lunatic. Instead, I decided to make ANOTHER appointment (only another $133) to get the teeth cleaned, but I've promised myself that this filling will be done before i'm 30! BEFORE!*





* I have 39 days to get my shit together

Okay, I'm starting the year as I mean to go on. (Yesterday, the official first day of the year, doesn't count; I was hung like a dog and when I eventually tried to go to sleep I was sort of half dreaming (hallucinating?) that my head was really small and shrinking - SCARY). Anyway, today has been far more productive.

I cleaned my tip of a flat, what can i say; I am possibly the least tidy person you know. I am one of the world's great dumpers. So, first goal for the new year...

Keep nice house.

On that topic, I was given a Filofax for Christmas (it's pink), so I just filled in everyone's birthdays in there as well as all the January stuff I have just been trying not to forget about until now. (V busy, FYI).

A bit of organisation, please.

So those are the two main things. They might sound simple, but they are two of the things that get left behind sometimes.

Late last year after a couple of regretable incidents, I decided to go off the booze, fags and give up the party for a month, replacing it all with healthy living and gym time. It wasn't massively successful (in that i didn't lose 20kgs in a month), though it was a lot easier than i thought it was going to be. That said, ever since that month ended, I have been on turbo. Boozing and gutsing with no restraint, partying like it's 1999... which has been fun, but it's leading to a couple of issues. So number three...

Take it easy on the booze.

Other things I'm half interested in and would like to get done this year:

Become certified diver
Sort photos and get interesting ones printed
Finish acquiring furniture for flat and stop using boxes as coffee table
Plan wicked 3oth b'day
Take better care of finances
Reach peak physical fitness (just a little one for last)

Wish me luck!

Dear Dottie,

Long time no hear, hope you have not been met with any bother while in Korea.

Anyway, you missed a great party - Kiki got married to Aphrodite on the weekend and I was reminded of two things:

1. the existence of this blog...

i've been reading through a whole heap of old stuff and FUCK! what a tedious, whinging bitch i am!

and also...

2. this haiku you wrote only three short years ago

30 October 2007

yo aphrodite,
rooting kiki? too bad he's...
got the yogurt dick.

(dedicated to Mars as her worlds collide)


It's really sweet, and still so relevant.

Come home soon for a visit will you, its been a year since the warm handshake.

Love you on Wednesdays

Marsy xxx

*tap tap tap*

Is this thing still on?

Hi there! I'm Mars, of the formally semi-famous, semi-fabulous and almost completely inept bloggers, Dot and Mars duo.

Dot thinks we should delete the blog... but i still have stuff to say. SO MUCH STUFF TO SAY.

Will try to be better and say it soon.

I've taken a new tactic in the Hunt for a Husband (1999-)2010.

Found this ring in amongst my belongings over the weekend that looks a bit like an engagment ring. So I'm wearing it on my ring finger to see if that brings about any change to the current trend of tumbleweeds.

Will report back with findings.

Thank God!

FYI MARS

Before you ask: I didn't get the job.

Have not been officially told this yet however I did overhear boss today (I volunteer at organization one day a week) calling someone else's references.

How can I not get a job I have already been doing for free for two months?!?!?!

Oh well. If I was happy in my career (and you were happy in love), we wouldn't be Dot and Mars, would we?

My new venture...

Right. It's 0119 hours, Monday 08 March and i'm on the internet dating site again, poking around. What i'm now wondering is what i'm up against... Y'know, who are these chicks?

My friend said to me (bless her) after the FOUR!!! rejections, that maybe these blokes all think i am out of their league so they didn't bother with me. I did laugh at the time, but now i'm wondering who exactly is in my league.

I had a look at the other girls my age and let's face it, they're as thoroughly standard as I am. One thing i have noticed though is that i am getting a lot of interest from older dudes - so now I wonder if my pool (27-33 year olds) are all after the 19-24 year olds. Of course they are! Who am i kidding? Who wants a frumpy almost 30 year old with a bit of life experience under her belt and those annoying standards and expectations of you, when you could have a giggling, firm, 22 year old?

No one, that's who.

Anyway, i have proof of none of this but i am looking to further investigate my theory and to find out what my league is. Where do i belong, internet?

Would it be completely wrong to set up as a profile as a man just to see where it's all at? Just for research - promise.

What's shitting you today, Mars?

We all know my somewhat checkered past where housemates are concerned, correct? Basically, I have lived with over 30 people in my time and have ended up passionately hating every single one of them except for two. This is not a good ratio.

So, when looking for my latest victim, I thought I was being scrupulous, wary even, having learned from lessons passed.

No Emos
No lesbians
No one who never leaves the house
No one who has a pet
No one with a debilitating 'illness'
No unemployed
No dirty, lazy, noisy
No bossy
No vegetarians
No Christians
And lastly, NO ONE WITH A BOY/GIRL FRIEND

But I was rushed into moving out of the pars house and appear to have made an error in judgement. It would appear that I have moved in with someone who has a perpetually present, imp of a boyfriend.

UH-OH!

My (official) housemate is actually really nice, I like her a lot and i'm trying to just GET A FUCKING LIFE! and not let Impy bother me. But last night, it did bother me... She wasn't even home and and he turned up about half past 10. I heard knocking on the front door while I was in the shower, and figured it could only be one person... so I carried on with my shower, hoping he'd think no one was home and just LEAVE.

But alas, he was not to be deterred! I left him knocking on that front door for 15 minutes, long after I'd finished my shower... I hid out in the bathroom (which you can see the door of from the front door) for ages... Eventually I got sick of being held captive in my own bathroom and went to exit the bathroom and had no choice but to let him in. So in he came, went and turned the tv and a/c on, made himself something to eat then went and had a shower.

This wouldn't bother me so much if it didn't happen every day... I really am TRYING to be reasonable about this - I dont want to hate someone. Internet, you have to believe me for once.